New York State Veterans.

Hello! I'm on a mission and I need your help. You've come home from deployment and you're trying to get your life back on track but you've run into a few obstacles. What are they? What do you need that isn't being offered? What could be better? Is there information you feel could be better explained or even easier to obtain? VA appointments not up to par? Could the VA center do things differently? Still waiting for that dentist appointment after a year (like me)? Do you need housing? Someone to talk to? Benefits explained? Do you wish your family had same place to turn to while you were deployed? Anything? New York isn't perfect and I want to know how to make it better for veterans. If you could please email your opinions, thoughts, etc. it would be greatly appreciated! Also if you are interested in politics let me know.

My email is: katehoit@yahoo.com

If you aren’t from New York but still have experienced issues please let me know what they are!

Please repost this on your blog, website, anywhere! Thank you!

Women of the Military documentary update!

We might have landed an agent to distribute the documentary! Hopefully it will get picked up in the near future and America can meet some of the fine women who have served this lovely nation!

Women of the Military.

Don't Wanna See Your Face, You Better Disappear...

I know some of you are really touched by the death of Michael Jackson and I guess I can understand your attachment to your Thriller album but snap out of it. Wacko Jacko was an adult who knew that popping pills and not eating was horrible for ones health, right? He could've changed his habits with a little self-determination and by surrounding himself with people who wouldn’t feed his addictions. Yeah, I've read he had a shitty childhood and was forced to work nonstop...I get it but sometimes you just have to let the past be in the past. I saw a video on CNN where the House of Representatives held a moment of silence for Michael Jackson on Friday. Do they do this for the troops that have been killed everyday in Iraq or Afghanistan? I'm sure they'd have to come up with something a little more honorable to say about the soldiers who have passed...I mean, they can't commit on their "style of dancing." For the record, 11 U.S. soldiers and 331 Iraqi Security Forces and Civilians have been killed this month. Since June 25th, 14 U.S. soldiers have been wounded in action. There have also been 38 coalition military fatalities this month in Afghanistan. So this is my moment of silence for those who have passed and who have not been acknowledged…One day our backwards country might get the bigger picture, until then Michael Jackson will flood our televisions, websites, and the ones who should be recognized will continue to slip through our hands.

I could careless about Michael Jackson’s death...my heart goes out to those who have passed and to their families.



Iraq Colalition Casualty Count.

Has college...

made me "one of them?" I love learning, reading, etc but I'm fucking busy with pure bullshit all the time! Math homework? Nonsense. Is photography art? Who cares. Take photos if you want...call them art if you want...if anyone tells you they aren't art look at who is saying it...probably some ironic asshole who thinks they're important. Fuck 'em. I need to graduate now...not in a year. And who thinks it's good for an 18 year old to go to an Ivy League school? What will an 18 year old get out of an Ivy League school besides a skewed vision on life? Our lifestyles and wants breed assholes.

War Photography.

Tomorrow is my last day of classes, so naturally today/tonight I'm writing a six page paper, studying for two finals, and wishing I didn't procrastinate.

My final paper for my History of Photography course is about War Photography. I've fallen in love with a few photographers...



W.Eugene Smith.



Robert Capa.



Margaret Bourke-White.

Flag Day Parade in Hudson, NY.

Is photography art?

My assignment: write a three page paper explaining why I believe photography is or is not a form of art. I posted this question on twitter but as some of you know, you can't really have a discussion on a site that only allows 140 characteristics. So, here I am.

Art: "Art is the process or product of deliberately arranging elements in a way that appeals to the senses or emotions. It encompasses a diverse range of human activities, creations, and modes of expression..."

Visual Art: "The visual arts are art forms that focus on the creation of works which are primarily visual in nature, such as drawing, painting, photography, printmaking, and filmmaking."

Photography: "Photography is the process, activity and art of creating still or moving pictures by recording radiation on a sensitive medium, such as a film, or an electronic sensor."

Twitter responses: "Digital, no. film, usually. some say the camera doesn't lie, but that isn't the truth. digital manipulation, yes. darkroom, yes."

"In my book, yes, photography=art. It uses specific means to reveal the world via the artists' unique eyes/perspective. Dorky?" No, you're not dorky!

Text message response: "I think it's an art because the artist let's the person know what they are feeling through their eyes."

So...

Appeals to the senses or emotions? Feelings? Is it the photographer who has the power to actually do that? When another human being looks at a photograph, they determine if it is worth a two second scan or $150,000...they determine if they allow a photograph to stir up feelings, to make them contemplate, to make them question, to make them laugh, cry, want to be there, they in turn take a photograph and manipulate it to how they want to see it. What is really the art of it? A photographer capturing and freezing a moment that might be beautifully lit, slightly awkward, allows you to see the vulnerability of another human or a landscape, an innocence that normally one would pass by, or is the photographer being selfish and only presenting what they choose, in turn cheating the world out of other points of view? Maybe the art of it all has nothing to do with the one snapping the photograph. Maybe the art of it is ones ability to recognize there is something there...but a photograph can symbolize anything to anyone depending on their emotional state, where they have been, what they have seen, what they haven’t seen.

Manipulation? Anything can be manipulated. A painting, a sculpture, words, love...if manipulating something means it's not art...then why stop at photography? Maybe some photographs need to be manipulated to be stronger, to get their point across, to evoke rage, happiness, in a person. Is there art is manipulating something so perfectly the person viewing it doesn't even know they are being manipulated? That in itself could be art.

I was walking in San Francisco once and stopped to look at a painting. I made the comment that I could've done that...I was told, "but you didn't." It was that simple. That painting was so simplistic that I couldn't even wrap my head around it...what was I suppose to see? Maybe I saw nothing because I didn't want to see anything. Someone probably purchased that painting for a few thousands dollars and I would've just as easily pissed on it.

Is photography an art form?

Thoughts!

Albany...

If you weren't at the Clash and Ramones tribute show at Valentines tonight...well, your idea of fun is shit and you missed out.

Sweet dreams.

Larry Meistrich (hollywood filmmaker) wants you!

Well, only if you are active military or a veteran. Meistrich is soliciting movie and TV pitches from the country's finest, with the intent to choose one project per year to produce and finance.

Meistrich wants the projects to be entirely produced by military personnel and family members. This includes writing, directing, producing, acting, production, etc.

Sounds awesome, right? Let's make a movie! Anyone have a script?

Read the article here: "We wanted to support the troops with more than just a yellow ribbon," Meistrich said.

This Much I Can Give You.

I had lost the other soldiers I was in the firefight with. They ran one way and I ran the other. My boots pounded the sand, then the pavement, then the grass. I leaned against a brick building as if it were the only thing I could rely on. A towering tree was to the left of me, it’s bright green leafs swayed toward an empty field. That much it gave me-a break from reality, a reason to close my eyes and imagine all the other places I should’ve been.

I put my M16 on burst and squeezed the trigger slowly with my left index finger. I never hit anything; not a building, not a car, not a person. It was like my bullets knew the fight wasn’t worth it but I kept shooting. In-between shots I yelled for the other soldiers. I wasn’t ready to be left alone. I wasn’t ready to die.

I closed my eyes and ran my palms down the bricks, even they were sweating. I realized if I didn’t move, I’d be killed. I opened me eyes and peered around the corner. The other soldiers were taking cover and running through the streets. I took a step from behind the building and it hit me; a bullet in my left cheek, then two more. A man emerged with dark oily hair, bright brown eyes, and overlapping teeth. He smiled as his bullets sedated me. I was unable to move, unable to care. The bullets expanded gently in my face. I was usually too scared to touch my face but some nights I ran my fingers slowly over the holes. My fingers seemed to dissolve in the gaping holes the bullets had left. There was never any blood, any death.

I always woke up the same way; staring at my bedroom wall wondering if I was going to die in Iraq. I thought until I fell back asleep. A good soldier is suppose to run through the bullets, accept the fact they might get shot in the face, a good soldier can at least shoot something. Fuck, I didn’t want to get shot in the face, I didn’t want to shoot anyone in the face, and I probably would admire the way a tree danced to the sound of gunshots.

After having the same dream for a few weeks, I thought for sure I was going to get killed over there. I imagined the letter my parents would get notifying them about my death…

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Hoit,

We are sorry to inform you but your daughter was shot in the face by a man who didn‘t believe in using shampoo. You should know the Army trained her well but apparently she liked to do things her own way. On the day of her death she separated herself from the other soldiers, hid behind a building, and she was a terrible shot. By the way, her face ate her fingers so we suggest a closed casket. We are sorry for your lose.

Sincerely,

Uncle Sam




(Rewriting my memoir piece. This might be my new beginning.)

Life updates...

I've been horrible about updating my blog. My semester ended on the 14th, get my grades back tomorrow, and my two summer classes start in a week. I'm taking the History of Photography and a math course. They are Monday-Friday, 8:30-2:50...but they'll be done in four weeks! I'm still working on my memoir piece...the editing process is interesting. It's as though the first 20 drafts didn't matter and now it's time to really say what I want to say. I'm working with a professor who has a few books out and really pushing me. Hopefully one day my piece will be published somewhere.

Germany! Thanks for the emails and facebook messages. Your English doesn't suck! I'll be taking German in the fall...can you guys help me out?

Rold and Mr.England, you guys made it over!! I hope you guys are well! Rold, how's the baby? Harm? Mr.England, coming to the states?

I'm at my Army unit until Thursday to make up some time. I've been working on soldiers promotion packets...real exciting.

Trying to meet some Iraqis who are taking English classes at the school my mom works at. Hopefully tomorrow I get the chance to meet them!

Hope all of you are well!

Five Soldiers killed at Camp Libery, What are Stress Clinics?

U.S. soldier killed five at Camp Liberty’s stress clinic.

What's a stress clinic?

In July 2005, I did a story on the stress clinic at Camp Anaconda in Balad, Iraq. This stress clinic is separate from the stress clinic at Camp Liberty. However, I figured this could shed some light on what exactly a stress clinic is.

"Being deployed in a war zone can affect Soldiers in a variety of ways. Whether a Soldier suffers from combat stress, problems at home, substance abuse, or unit and leadership conflicts the 55th Medical Company, Combat Stress Control, Indianapolis, Ind., here has an assortment of programs set up for intervention.

The Soldiers at the Restoration Clinic understand that many people need an opportunity to express their thoughts, feelings, and problems in a non-judgmental, therapeutic way. Soldiers on Anaconda have the choice of walking in, making an appointment, or they may be recommended by their command to receive individual counseling and treatment.

"We don't turn anyone way, and they would be seen and evaluated the day they walk-in," said Maj. Richard Boone, officer-in-charge of the Restoration Program.

The clinic offers therapeutic intervention classes to include: Relaxation Techniques, Stress Management, Home Front Issues, Communication Skills, Anger Management, Anxiety Awareness, Open Forum, and Depression Awareness. The main objective of the classes is for soldiers to communicate what they are experiencing, look at their own reactions to the stressors, and to see if they can resolve or alter the issue themselves.

"We are about returning Soldiers to full duty, better equipped to handle their stressors, and having a greater sense of personal well-being," Boone said.

When Soldiers come to the clinic, they may enter the Restoration Program. The program is over a three-day period, and focuses on certain classes that would benefit the individual Soldier and one-on-one counseling. However, many Soldiers do not need the full program and they would usually be back to duty within a day with follow-up care as needed, Boone said. In case a Soldier needs more then 72 hours of intervention, the staff offers a Residential Program, where they may stay up to two weeks depending on their condition and response to the treatment.

For Soldiers at other forward operating bases, the staff put together a squad known as the Prevention Team; these Soldiers travel frequently to assist troops. When they visit Soldiers their goals are to offer critical incident debriefings if someone suffered a traumatic event and to make them aware that they have someone to talk to if need be. Soldiers may also be brought into the clinic to be given additional counseling.

The staff is aware that Soldiers may feel awkward about talking to an unfamiliar person about personal problems and anxious about the process. Soldiers will be glad to know that the information they share with the combat stress staff is almost always confidential, Boone said. There are exceptions, however, when issues of dangerous behavior or illegality arise or if the Soldier is a direct command referral. In such cases some information could be shared with other healthcare providers or with the Soldier's command.

"We treat everyone who comes in here as adults, as Soldiers who are doing important work," Boone said. "We treat them with respect, friendliness, and compassion."

Being expected to carry out missions is challenging and dangerous situations may cause emotional and physiological issues. The Soldiers at the Restoration Clinic will be working with Soldiers until the end of their tour in late fall. A replacement unit is expected to arrive to continue this vital work."

Good quote from a good book...

I'm getting ready for my final in Vietnam War and Literature and I came across a perfect quote from one of the books I had to read.

The Sorrow of War by Bao Ninh...

"It was hard to remember a time when his whole personality and character had been intact, a time before the cruelty and the destruction of war had warped his soul. A time when he had been deeply in love, passionate, aching with desire, hilariously frivolous and light-hearted, or quickly depressed by love and suffering. Or blushing in embarrassment. When he, too, was worthy of being a lover and in love...
But war was a world with no home, no roof, no comforts. A happy journey, of endless drifting. War was a world without real men, without real women, without feeling."

Scene One.

Bill is asleep in his twin sized bed, covered in a thin light blue blanket. When I flipped on the light it startled him. He peeked above the blanket. His hair is pure white and messy. He remembered my face and the tall brown boots I was wearing. He asked about them. He asked about them three more times before I left. The 75 year old, Schenectady, New York, native has been in the Albany County Nursing home for four years and can’t understand why.

Born to Sally “Sadie” Dixon on September 14, 1933 at the Belleview Hospital in Schenectady, Bill has seen his mother married to four different men, three of which walked out on him and his mom, he was sent to Burke, New York, to work on his aunt and uncles farm, joined the army, and has been married four times himself. He can only recall two of his wives names.

The memory of growing up in Schenectady during General Electrics booming years evades his memory. To him Schenectady was “just busy.” Bill went to junior high school at Van Corlear and then onto Mount Pleasant high school. He was a self-proclaimed average student, his favorite subject was the arts, he didn’t play sports, and his best friend was an Italian boy named Tony. Once he mentions Tony’s name, he remembers they use to play baseball. Tony was better then him.

His Aunt Katherine and Uncle Lawrence took him into their home for a few years. Burke, New York was only miles from Canada. On clear days, Bill remembers walking out onto the porch and seeing the St. Lawrence river. His smile tells me he misses those days. Bill remembers their farm. It was large and beautiful, there were a lot of cattle, and he spent his days working. His smile vanished.

“Uncle L worked my ass off!” said Bill.

Once Sally married her fourth husband, Raymond C. Smith, Bill moved back home. This is the only husband Bill liked. The family moved into a brown and white two story house on 5th Street in Schenectady. It was only a two bedroom house. Sally had one room and Raymond had the other.

“They had separate rooms because mom was starting to get fat,” said Bill, “They couldn’t fit in the same bed. I had my own room in the basement.”

After a few years Bill went back up to Burke, New York and attended the Adirondack School of Commerce. He graduated from their one year business program and then moved back to Schenectady. When he got home, the Korean War had just started. Instead of being drafted, Bill volunteered for a two year commitment with the Army. He was put on a bus and wound up in Fort Dix, New Jersey. He was processed in and then sent across the country to Fort Ord, California. When he starts talking about California, he sits up from his bed. He’s wearing a green sweater and a nametag around his neck. This tag allows him a little more freedom then the other decaying residents.

“I loved the west coast,” said Bill, “The oceans, the weather, San Francisco. The east coast stinks.”

Bill boarded a ship and left California. He spent the next year and a half at a base outside of Frankfurt, Germany. Since he learned to type at the Adirondack School of Commerce, the Army put him in personnel. His job was easy and he was good at it. He traveled to England, Switzerland, Finland, and Scotland. Scotland was his favorite because that’s where his mother was from.

He came back to Schenectady and met his first wife Pat. They had three boys; Jeff, Tim, and Freddy. They moved around from Peabody, and Boston Massachusetts then eventually back to New York. Pat filed for divorce and Bill can’t remember why.

Bill stops the interview.

“I don’t want to do this anymore,” said Bill, “it’s bringing back bad memories.”

He lays back down in his bed and closes his eyes. He tells me he is tired. His room is adorned with four American flags, a lighthouse calendar, a dream catcher, three certificates of recognition, family photos, a valentines day gift from his wife, and a nursing home event calendar. I asked him if he’s going to go to bingo tonight. No response. He was asleep.

There are seven packs of gummy bears on his shelve. He used to love gummy bears. Whenever he went to the store, he would always buy them. He woke up when I opened up a bag. He told me to take them home with me. I don’t think he likes gummy bears anymore.

At the end of his bed there is a brown recliner chair and next to it is a Vanity Fair magazine. Bill bookmarked a page with a dirty napkin. I opened up to the page and it’s a Versace advertisement. The model is tan, wearing a short beige dress, and heels. I put the napkin back in place and put the magazine on the floor. He fell back asleep.

I woke him up and told him I was going to leave. Bill didn’t lift his head off the pillow but he smiled at me. I asked him if he knew why he was at the nursing home.

“No. Why?” asked Bill.
“Do you know what Alzheimer’s is?” I responded.
“No. What is it?”
“It’s a disease that deteriorates your memory.”
“That’s what they say I have?”
“Yes.”
“Well, that’s probably true…What memory?”

Bill and I both laughed. He’s always had the same sense of humor. I leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“What day is it?” asked Bill.
“Saturday,” I said.
“Shut off the light.”

Birthday pictures...

Around UAlbany.

I just got the best gift ever...

My boyfriend bought me a Remington rifle! Now we are going shooting! He's the best!

At 4:09am...

I will be 25! And I've never felt so complete in my life! I have great friends who support me, a mother who is crazy (in a good way) and my partner in crime, a father who is literally going crazy but still awesome, a boyfriend that I totally adore (I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world), great professors, a few jobs, and I'm out of the Reserves in December! 25 is looking good!!

Penn State University's Office of Student Affairs and President Graham Spanier...

produced a video featuring a "stereotypical "aggressive" veteran who threatens his professor." First and foremost, bravo on making yourselves look completely ignorant and uneducated. I do not know why this video was produced, I do not understand what point this video was attempting to make, and I do not understand why a group of people would go out of their way to make veterans seem unstable and irrational.

It’s hard enough to be a veteran and enrolled in college. Regardless, students and even professors already have preconceived notions about veterans. So not only do veterans have to prove they’re good students, intelligent, eager to learn…they also have to answer questions their peers may have, debunk absurd stereotypes, and show they are obtainable…not ticking time bombs like this video portrays them to be.

Veterans can only do so much. Somewhere along the line one can only hope the general public attempts to educate themselves…and produce a more accurate video. Maybe Penn State should invite a group of veteran students to speak at their school…this way we can speak for ourselves and allow the students to know what it’s really like to be a veteran in college.

Thanks for nothing Penn State and hats off to a brilliant President…clearly you’re all in good hands.

Here's the bullshit video...

Today Restored My Faith...

in my generation!

I met the professor around 11:30, chatted a little, and headed to her classroom. Whenever students walked in she had them introduce themselves to me...this made me feel a little important. Then she introduced me and had me speak about how I came to write my piece. Then it was question time...

Everyone just stared at me. Awesome. But that only lasted a very long few seconds. We got talking about situations with the Iraqis, how the Army is known for its piss poor planning, sex, what it’s like coming home, censorship, other blogs (I pulled up Army of Dude, LT Nixon, and The Usual Suspect), stop-loss, the medias coverage on the war (what coverage?), word usage...I used the word insurgent in my piece, not terrorist...this surprised some, my personal relationships with the two men I talk about in my piece, socioeconomic something something...I don't really know what this one kid was trying to get at but he was adorable so I just pretended to know what the hell he was talking about, and they asked about how much control the average soldier has over the orders given to them and what happens if they disagree. Death I told them! Just joking...the Army needs everyone they have.

One girl was extremely surprised to find out some soldiers engage in sexual activities...what! I was surprised to find someone who thought that was a surprise! The same girl commented that in some parts of my piece I was "sweet" and in other parts I was blunt and not so sweet. Then she asked me who I was...I smiled and told her I was a little bit of both.

The professor dropped the “F bomb” and I don’t think she was too excited about that. In fact, she informed the class that the only time they would hear her say “fuck” was when it was a direct quote…so she said it a few times. I felt bad.

A few students made comments that now they realize soldiers aren’t superheroes or baby killers…but we are just normal human beings. I succeeded in getting my point across and that was the best feeling in the world.

So we did this for about an hour. Everyone was so sweet and curious. It made me realize people do care.

As I was leaving the professor made a comment about me writing some more and possibly turning my piece into a book…I laughed. However, a kid asked me when the projected date was for the book…I told him it was being negotiated.

I was wrong...

I speak tomorrow! Ahh!

The Week Ahead...

Today I have to work on a paper about the automobile industry. Not completely excited about this paper but whatever I have to get it done. I have to read, "The Sorrow Of War" by Bao Ninh...by 2:45 tomorrow. Not sure if that's going to happen but I'll try. On Thursday, I'm going to be a guest speaker in the Mass Media and War In U.S. History honors class. The students read a memoir piece I wrote about my time in Iraq and now I get to answer a few questions. I'm nervous. The professor who asked me to speak is the Director of the journalism program, has a few books out, went to Brown University (had a horrible experience there once), and participated in a Strategic Policy Implementation Seminar at the Army War College. She's excited for me to come in...I just hope I don't screw up. Give me some tips! Also anyone know any bloggers who are currently overseas? She wants her students to check out some blogs. Let me know! Thanks!


Time to write about the big three going down in flames.

Thanks Easter Bunny...

for giving me my "special" eggs this morning! I popped a few Aleve, tucked a heating pad between my pants and my shirt, and now I'm blow-drying my hair... I'm sweating to death! Thanks for nothing Easter!

Let's hope my day gets better!

Happy Easter!

Hope everyone has a good day! xox

Today Eyeliner asked...

Upon hearing the news my unit is suppose to deploy to Afghanistan May 2010, Eyeliner asked...

"Where is Afghanistan?"

"By Iran and Pakistan," I responded.

"Like I know where that is."

So I googled "world map" and showed her. She looked and said...

"So they have the same weather as Virginia?

"Great Day"

I'm laying in bed with my cat Piper and reading Armageddon in Retrospect by Kurt Vonnegut. I highly recommend getting this book and reading and rereading the chapter titled, "Great Day."

Here are a few lines from it...

"Ain't this a rather dangerous profession we picked of our own free will, soldier?"

"I moved my head up and down, so's my helmet acted like a pump. It pumped air down over my forehead. At a time like that, little things can be extra-nice."

"Captain," I said, "everything there is to fight for has already done been won. We got peace, we got freedom, everybody is like brothers, everybody got nice houses and chicken ever Sunday."

"If I was ever to have a child, this is what I'd tell it: "Child," I'd say, "don't never mess with time. Keep now now and then then. And if you ever get lost in thick smoke, child, set still till it clears. Set still till you can see where you are and where you been and where you're going, child."

Get the book!

Sweet dreams.

Army life...

I'm sitting in a hotel room in the washed up city of Schenectady. This weekend I play Army. The soldiers who live at least 50 miles from the unit get put up for the weekend. My two lovely but crazy army buddies are fixing their hair and not talking about their guy problems. The world might be coming to an end. Now one is putting on eyeliner...it looks like shit but I don't have the heart to tell her.

I think the movie Crank looks completely stupid.

"When is New York going to have a flood?" Move to North Dakota.

I'm going to watch my little freedom fighters put on makeup. Army Strong!

p.s. I got an iPhone. Can you tell?

Out of Step...

with blogging! I apologize. I'll be making a comeback soon!

If you have Twitter...lets tweet together. I'm just starting to get into it.
Tweeter.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell...

Sign a petition to overturn this out-of-date policy.

Sign the VoteVets petition here!

Help me write a paper...

With the current state of the economy...have you changed the way you live? Less shopping? Less drinking? Public transportation? No more organic food? Staying at a shitty job you can't stand? Anything. Let me know please! (If you don't want to leave a comment email me: arita8x8@yahoo.com. I'll also need your full name. Thanks!)

My Partner in Crime...

Combat Infantry Bunny posted a diary on VetVoice about the Women of the Military documentary. Check it out here!

Also check out: Being a Women Veteran by Kayla Williams.

Women of the Military.

Here are a few women that are in the documentary! (Collage by Alex Horton)


The documentary is complete! We've created a web site where you can view the trailer and see who is featured in the documentary! Please check it out!

Women of the Military.

Trailer.

We are in the process on getting distrobution for the project. I will post updates as soon as I have them. I am also working on a Facebook and Twitter page.

AND...Germany Rules!

I don't know what you guys saw but thank you for all the emails and Facebook messages. You all are always so sweet and grateful. Thank you again!

Oh..

I found this eco-friendly canvas tote at the mall the other day. You can stop using all those harmful plastic bags and let everyone know how booooooring war is at the same time. Whoever invented this is like a total genius! And it's sold at Forever 21 for $1.50. All those young trendy girls can totally rock a valid viewpoint. Oh, and it’s made in China.

MilfBlogger?

So a guy that goes by "RYP" on the Black Flag Cafe Chat room referred to me as a MilfBlogger...MilfBlogger© - A female milblogger who has a presence and an opinion on the internet strictly to gain attention, work out her "issues" and get private emails/comments from lonely servicemen posted overseas.

Ouch!

Well Mr. RYP a few things. 1) I'm not a mother. 2) I'm just sharing my opinions with whoever wants to read them...I'm not looking for a certain kind of attention. If I wanted attention from lonely men there are simpler ways of going about it. 3) Why is it such a big deal for a female to talk about sex, blowjobs, and being pissed off? Does it make you uncomfortable? Sure, I could talk about doing my laundry, cooking, my nails...but not every female is a carbon copy of a cosmo girl. Deal with it. 4) Issues? I didn't really think I had issues...I mean, I took care of my one blowjob issue. But thanks for worrying about me. 5) Leave my "lonely servicemen" out of this! 6) I guess my plan for getting the attention of lonely dirty old men worked after all...I got your attention! How about you try coming up with a more appropriate name...MilfBlogger is pretty corny...along with your dramatic photo. Cheers!

The Black Flag Cafe.

2010, Defying the President's Orders, and a Soldier killed by Two Iraqi Policemen.

--Rumor has it Obama plans to withdraw all combat troops from Iraq by August 2010. Then it's off to Afghanistan! Sorry troops there's no end in sight...fuck, you probably won't even get a break.

Read the article here.

--A Soldier in Iraq says President Obama is an "impostor" and wants to see his birth certificate! First of all, why are you going to defy Obamas orders? Give me a break. But you'll follow the orders of former President George W. Bush? That got us all real far. Easterling said, “I chose to work … to support my troops and then left that lucrative position when the Army raised its maximum enlistment age to 40. Upon completion of basic training, I entered Officer Candidate School and commissioned as a 2LT in August 2007. After completing the subsequent basic officer leadership courses, I was assigned to Ft. Knox and shortly thereafter deployed to Balad, Iraq,"
Dear the Army, 40? Really. That’s to old. No offense to anyone who’s 40 and wants to join…but you might have a heart attack over there. It’s hot and the equipment is heavy. Send care packages instead.
Balad, Iraq? I wonder what orders Easterling is defying? Maybe he's refusing to walk over to pool and jump off the diving board? Oh, or walking to Pizza Hut and getting a pizza? Or maybe he's refusing to sleep in his comfy trailer every night...give me a break. I kind of miss Balad. If anyone should be "defying" orders it should come from those actually doing something over there. Shut up and do your 9-5 job. Give me an infantryman who hasn’t showered in 25 days, whos boots have practically become part of his body, who has seen the depths of war, who has dodged bullets, IEDs, and RPGs…then we’ll talk.

Read the article here.

--A U.S. soldier was killed by two Iraqi policemen in Northern Iraq. You train and pay them one day...the next day they kill you. Welcome to a world where nothing makes any sense.

Read the article here.

Lawyer?

Is anyone a lawyer who reads this? Or knows one? I have a quick question. Thanks!

Casting Call for Veterans.

A Los Angeles based film company and People Farm are seeking veterans between the ages of 18-27. They want to hear YOUR story of life after deployment. You can make a little profile and people can vote for you...give it a shot!

Read more here.

"The Lonely Soldier Monologues (Women at War In Iraq)" by Helen Benedict.

Check this out if you can! I'll be attending.


William Electric Black will direct "The Lonely Soldier Monologues (Women at War In Iraq)" by Helen Benedict. The play is based on Benedict's book, "The Lonely Soldier: The Private War of Women Serving in Iraq" (Beacon Press, April 2009), an intimate, unflinching, and sometimes disturbing portrait of women in today's military. Theater for the New City, 155 First Avenue, Manhattan, will present the work March 5 to 22.

Read more here.

"What Should the Iraq War Memorial Look Like?"

My life currently consists of going to classes, working, freezing, and trying to have a little bit of a personal life. So today in my Vietnam War in Literature and Film class we talked about the Vietnam Veterans Memorial and then some kid asked what the Iraq War memorial should look like. I always find it entertaining when people talk about the Iraq War like it's over. My professor seemed to get really excited thinking about this. He finally shouted out, "It would be a humvee." The class waited for more. "It would be a humvee getting hit by an IED...the humvee would be like levitating...Oh, and there would be sound effects." I sank into my chair as my friend sitting next to me looked over at me. I told him I hated my life. He said he was surprised I didn't say anything. On top of my professor saying something I found to be completely appalling and disrespectful to all those who have lost their life in Iraq and to their families, some asshole student starts laughing. Really? This winner had on a New York Yankees jersey and a Yankees t-shirt under it, a shitty mustache that he thinks is awesome, Chinese symbols tattooed on the back of his neck with totally original dragons around them, he was drinking coffee out of a straw, and he carelessly giggled at my professors brilliant idea. My professor asked the class if we should sketch up the memorial idea and then he said he’s “glad this class is off the record.”

Everyday I wonder what the fuck the people around me are thinking, why they say the things they say, why things just don’t matter or seem to register, why they care about things that don’t seem to matter...and then I realize they must think the same about me. But I know I’ll never laugh at something so horrible.



*Speaking of death...

President Obama is considering overturning the policy banning photos of military coffins. If the families of the fallen soldiers are comfortable with this, I believe it's a step in the right direction. Maybe if the American public saw photos they would realize death isn't just a humvee that goes boom…maybe some would stop laughing.

Read the article here.

Nothing to do with anything...

but I was just introduced to Pandora Radio and if you love music, you'll love this site. It's the radio on the Internet...kind of. Just make an account (takes two seconds), then type in a band you like, they'll play songs by them and other bands that sounds like them too.

If you're in a mellow mood...try out A Fine Frenzy. That's what I'm listening to now.

Pandora Radio.

"Post!"

A family portrait:



My classes are going. Nothing exciting yet. My sociology professors are complete opposites. One is a fucking she-devil. She never smiles, her hair is curly and wild, her beady little eyes penetrate anyone who walks into class three seconds late, and her voice is harsh. She's no bullshit and I respect that. My other sociology professor is a goofy guy in his late twenties...I don't think he's thirty yet. Once he starts teaching, it's like letting go of a balloon and watching it make its way through the air. And on top of that, he drinks too much coffee. His voice is never at a steady tone...up and down, down and up. His jeans are also too tight but he doesn't have evil eyes.

My journalism professors are also opposites. I've only had one class with my Vietnam War in Literature and Film professor but he's funny, outgoing, and he makes the students feel comfortable. He asked our class if anyone has protested the current conflicts and four students raised their hands. One chick, who is from Jersey and talks so fucking loud, said when she was in tenth grade (2003), she was part of a march. The professor asked her what conflict...she responded with, "Iraq. No wait...Afghanistan? No, 2003...Iraq." I'm glad she knows what she's protesting. I'm also glad she feels the need to scream when she talks.

Oh, and my other journalism professor is a motherfucker. He’s old and has worked in the newspaper industry for years and years. First day of class, he asked a bunch of questions. "What is journalism? Why did you take this class? Who reads the newspaper? Who reads the news online? Who reads blogs?" Of course, I raised my hand when he asked about blogs. Who knew I'd be the only one in the class who reads blogs? Professor MF asked me what blogs I read...I rattled off a few and told him I also follow military blogs. He asked, "why?" Told him that's where I get firsthand experiences of those who have served, blah blah blah and that I'm also in the Army. "You're in the Army?" I told him yes. He kind of looked at me like, oh. Then it was time for introductions!

Professor MF came back to me.
"Ms. Hate? H? A? T? E?"
"Yes, it's Hate."
"So tell us about yourself. Why did you join the Army?"
I told him how old I was, why I joined, and then he asked what I had gotten out of the Army, and about my deployment.
Then he proceeded to say, "so you're in the Army, what do you say to those who think you just kill people."
"Uhh, I think those people are ignorant."
"Why? You're in the Army. That's what you do."
"Well, I have the right to defend myself. But we all have different MOS’s."
"Come on, you're in the Army. Say we are at a bar and we're getting a beer. And I'm like, you just kill people."
At this point, I’m getting annoyed. I don’t know if he’s trying to enlighten the kids in my class through me, or just being a piece of shit.
"I spent a year in Iraq and didn't kill anyone."
He looked at me and went onto the next student. They talked about how they like snowboarding, and how they made all-stars on their soccer team in middle school. He asked the class who had the most interesting story...everyone looked at me and pointed. I felt uncomfortable. Professor MF goes, "Oh, the Army brat." The class laughed, while I rolled my eyes and said thanks. The rest of the semester should be interesting.

Not Alone: Warrior Stories.

Kayla Williams, the author of Love My Rifle More Than You: Young and Female in the U.S. Army speaks about her experience in the Army, being in Iraq, and being a wife.

Really, you need to listen to this...

Check out her audio story here.

All Over the Place.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aw!

I'm sure I don't need to tell anyone what yesterday was but Barack Obama is our 44th President! I'm completely ecstatic. Aside from watching Obama swear in, seeing good 'ol W officially leave the White House (I waved goodbye to him from my couch), watching the President and the First Lady dance to 'At Last' at the Neighborhood Ball...one of the highlights for me was watching Obama at the Commander in Chief Ball. Obama danced with Army Sgt. Margaret Herrera of San Antonio, Texas and the First Lady danced with Marine Sgt. Elidio Guillen of Madera, California. I loved it. Now, let the games begin!


Oh, this also makes me extremely happy: Caroline Kennedy is ending her bid to replace Sen. Hillary Clinton in the U.S. Senate. She said she is withdrawing her name for "personal reasons." I wonder what her "personal reasons" are? Maybe she realized she needs a little more experience than just fundraising in NYC. If Fran Drescher comes back in the picture New York is fucked.

Bye bye Caroline.


I started classes today. I'm already sick of Ugg boots, girls with fake tans, and Long Island accents.

Progress.

So I leave tomorrow. Who knew? Can't wait to get back to the cold.

Blue Days, Long Nights.

I've been contemplating writing about my personal relationships from the time I was in Iraq to the present. I can't be the only female veteran who has lost love, found love, lost love again, dated, fell in lust, and done it all over again…right? Aside from the awkwardness of dating, things have only gotten more interesting with men after I tell them I’m a veteran.

I’ve seen how women react to male veterans…women are intrigued, they lean in close to hear all the stories these brave guys have to tell, they run their fingers up and down their arms as if they are soothing them, panties practically fly off, and then…well, there’s the reaction I get: “Oh, that’s cool”, “You got a girlfriend?”, “You don’t look like a veteran”, “You carried a gun?” And then for the most part, it’s just back to figuring out how to get into my pants. Which leads to me going home alone…and pulling out my vibrator.




*I left for Iraq kind of, sort of, not quite sure, maybe in a relationship. My boyfriend of a year and I decided to see how things went while I was over there. I called him, he emailed and sent me packages. A few months into my deployment, I emailed him less and less. How many different ways could we talk about the same thing? Yes, it’s hot. Work was good. We got mortared today, blah blah blah. It’s not that I didn’t want him in my life, I just didn’t know how to keep him part of it. Some days I thought I would get a “Dear Jane” letter in the mail. It would’ve made both our lives easier.

When I got home, my quasi boyfriend jumped right back into relationship mode. We made dinner, watched movies, and rarely ever talked about Iraq. This satisfied him but not me. He didn’t want to know about what I did or what I saw. He wouldn’t look at any of the pictures I had taken. To him Iraq was just a speed bump; something we both had to get over so we could carry on with our lives.

He told me he loved me and I had no idea what love was. I would look into his blue eyes and he was filled with hope. My brown eyes were mat and inconvincible. I wanted to remember what home was like and feel alive when he touched me. This is what made me happy before and this is what I thought I needed to be happy again. He was a stranger to me now and I wasn’t who he remembered.

Our relationship went on for a few months. One night after dinner, we ended up messing around. I unbuttoned his pants and moved slowly down his stomach with my lips and took him into my mouth. I looked up at him. While life was good for him, I had an epiphany. After he finished, he got dressed and held me for a few minutes. I told him I was tired. He left. Sitting on the edge of my bed I replayed our relationship over and over in my mind. I realized he would be perfect for someone just not me. I called him while he was driving home and ended it. I told him we both knew this wasn’t what we remembered and it never could be. I hung up the phone and cried. Within minutes I recovered. I promised myself that was the last dick I would suck who didn’t want to hear about Iraq.

And so the story goes...

2003: "Mission Accomplished"...syke.

"President George W. Bush admitted Monday it had been a mistake to hang a banner saying "mission accomplished" on a US battleship where he declared major combat operations in Iraq over in 2003."

Oops. At least he can admit when he is wrong, right?

Read the article here.


*Time to put on a dress and do an interview.

Working on the documentary...

I flew into Santa Clara yesterday. Woke up this morning, ate a cinnamon raisin english muffin, drank a lot of tea, and have been working on the documentary for five hours. The process is interesting...sometimes it's tedious...sometimes we disagree on things and other times we completely agree. My friend emailed me some music which is pretty awesome. Hopefully I’ll be able to put up some clips soon.

Tuesday we are driving to SF to talk to people on the street. I’m going to pick their brains…ask them what they think about women in the military, etc.

LA was in the 70s. It’s suppose to get up to 70 in Santa Clara. Albany is literally freezing. I don’t miss the east coast right now.

GodBlessAmerica.

PTSD...

Next week I have an interview lined up with a clinical psychologist who headed the National Center for PTSD at the Veterans Affairs Palo Alto Health Care System. I know some female vets read this who may or may not have PTSD...What questions would you ask? What do you want to know? If you aren't a vet but still have questions throw them at me.

When Mommy Comes Marching Home.

Boston University released a video about women veterans and PTSD. Sergeant First Class Michele Parkinson talks about her experience overseas and her battle with PTSD.

Watch the video here.

LA.

California!

I'm leaving the cold today and I'll be out there until the 15th! I'll be posting pictures and whatever else I can. If you're out there, hang out! Hope everyone is well.

So much news...

*Could there be a connection between combat stress and violent crimes? Nine soldiers who are or were at once part of the Fort Carson’s Fourth Brigade Combat have been charged with murder after returning home from Iraq. Domestic violence, rape, and sexual assault is also on the rise.

"One was John Needham, a 25-year-old private from a military family in California, whose downward spiral began when he sustained shrapnel wounds in Iraq and tried to commit suicide. This September, after being treated for stress disorder and receiving a medical discharge from the Army, Mr. Needham was charged with beating his girlfriend to death."

Read the NY Times article here.


*Military Times Poll: 6 out of 10 active-duty service members are concerned about Obama's lack of military service and experience leading men and women in uniform.

Read the article here.

*Baghdad's Green Zone was handed over to Iraqi control. I love the new ground rules..."the U.S. military must now conduct almost all of its operations with Iraqi forces, and all arrests must be carried out with warrants issued by Iraqi judges." Good luck with all of that.

Read the article here.

...while some celebrated the transition of power others prefer to kill...Attacks Occur as Iraq Takes Control of Key Sites-NY Times.

*Israel and Gaza. Gaza and Israel. It's all horrible. The IAF killed senior Hamas leader and cleric Sheikh Nizar Rayyan and now Hamas has vowed revenge..."strike at Zionist interests everywhere."

2009! 2009! 2009!

Happy New Year! Happy New Year! Hope everyone had a good night!

This year I'll be out of the Army and done with college! Ahh I can't wait!

Facebook...

I have no idea what I'm doing on this thing. Adopt me. What do you need? my email? arita8x8@yahoo.com. last name? Hoit.

Leftovers.

A few photos from a "black and white" party, a puppy, a smile for Victor, and some other random shit. I promise to post something military related soon...sorry.

How was everyone's weekend?

I'm really excited....

I got two sets of Kate Spade dinnerware that I wanted. It's called "Union Street" and I love them! And I got two Kate Spade "Larabee Dot" glasses to match!

Happy Holidays!

Hope everyone is doing well! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Albany is still a little messy from the ice storm and all the snow. Anyone snowed in? Stuck in an airport?

Side note: I got my grades back…3.94!!! I got three As and one A-. I was so excited I did a cheerleading move I haven’t done since 1999 and pulled a leg muscle. Then ran down the stairs with a laptop in hand, fell down the last two steps, and my snowflake earrings stabbed me in the face. (I was at a “wear your shittiest Christmas sweater” holiday party when I found out…hence the snowflake earrings)


Alright, I have to wrap presents still, clean, and paint my nails. Good luck with all the family fun tomorrow!

Goodbye, Hello, and Smoke Weed.

-British Forces will withdraw from the city of Basra by May. Those British guys were always so lovely to run into. They never talked to any of us. They would just chain smoke and giggle at who knows what. And guess who's going to replace them? American forces! You better watch your ass if you're in the IRR.

Read the article.


-Afghanistan may be catching up. By next summer Afghanistan could see an increase in 30,000 US forces. The increase of troops would be comprised of combat, aviation, medical and civil affairs forces. The 10th Mountain Division will deploy next month. Good luck!

Afghanistan on the radar.


-While we're on the topic of Afghanistan: Coalition and Afghan troops found 2.5 tons of marijuana...2.5 tons. Do you know how much weed that is? Jesus. Anyways, they found all this weed in an abandoned school in southern Afghanistan. And then they destroyed it. I'm sure they didn't smoke any of it.

Read the article here.

No, you can't....

wear thongs at army basic training.

I have sitemeter. I can tell how people find my blog, where they are from, etc. So, someone typed in this question on google, "can you wear thongs at army basic training."

Really? No. You can't fucking wear thongs at basic training. First, why would you want to wear a thong at basic training? Does that even make any sense to you? You aren't sitting in a classroom all day. You actually have to do things...many things and a thong would be completely uncomfortable. But you know what you can wear? You can wear white Hanes granny panties. Everyone has to wear them. And you shouldn’t worry about what type of underwear you have to wear anyways…no one is going to see them. If you’re a female and thinking of joining, please ask me questions. I’ll try to help you out as best as I can. Ground rules….One, no thongs. Two, no pink nail polish. Three, you’re going to get dirty and sweat. Four, you carry your own shit. Five, don’t get married to the first Army guy who sweet talks you. You’ll be divorced in three months. Oh, and try not to get pregnant. Six, don’t walk around like you have something to prove. Seven, don’t complain.

Stock up!

The Brown Derby.

My friend turned 25 last night. We had dinner at the Brown Derby. The food was excellent. The ambiance was amazing. And then we found a few soldiers and Marines. She drank and drank…and passed out in my bed.

Here are a few pictures.

Incoming!

Poor President Bush. He just wanted to take a peaceful trip to Iraq and bid his farewell but instead he almost got smacked in the face with a shoe.

The Iraqi journalist yelled this while throwing his shoe at the President, "This is a gift from the Iraqis; this is the farewell kiss, you dog"

Harsh.

Watch the video here.

Read about his trip here.

R.I.P. Bettie Page.

Bettie Page passed away Thursday night. She was 85. Bettie Bettie Bettie. What can I say about her? If you don't know who she is, something is wrong with you and you probably lead a boring sex life.


The LA Times wrote a nice obituary.

You've never had a bad day until you've had to carry your own leg...

A solider in Afghanistan had to carry his own leg after being attacked.

Watch the video clip here.

US Defense Department knew of the threat posed by roadside bombs...

but failed to take any action to protect troops.

I don't know about you but I'm completely disgusted. Somethings will never make sense to me. Never. Maybe if some action have been taken hundreds if not thousands of U.S. military personnel could've been spared.

Read the article here.

Semester is almost over.

Tomorrow is the last day of classes. This semester flew by. I have two finals and one might be the death of me. I signed up for classes for next semester. I'll be taking a class taught by Donald Forst. He use to be the Village Voice editor-in-chief. I heard he is amazing and I'm beyond thrilled to be in his class. I'm also taking a Vietnam War Literature class taught by Thomas Bass. He is the author of The Predictors; Vietnamerica: The War Comes Home; Reinventing the Future; The Spy Who Loved Us. I'm also signed up for a couple of sociology classes. Organizations in Society and Sociology of Work. Hope these are interesting. Now I have to finish working on a few things for tomorrow. Hope everyone had a good weekend!


Side note: President-Elect Obama named retired Gen. Eric Shinseki to head the Department of Veterans Affairs. Thoughts?

Drink Your Sorrows Away.

I just really like this article.

Cheers To 75 Years Of Drinking Legally.

BAGHDAD HOSPITAL: INSIDE THE RED ZONE.

Has anyone seen this documentary? I stumbled across it today on HBO. While I only caught the last 20 minutes of it, what I saw was almost beyond words.

It is the story of an Iraqi doctor named Omer Salih Mahdi who works in the emergency room at Al-Yarmouk hospital in Baghdad.

He takes you inside a hospital that has deplorable conditions. The staff is exhausted and drained. Iraqis are in and out of the ER with wounds from IEDs and being caught in the middle of sectarian violence. You see Iraqis who are just extremely fed up with the whole situation.

Click here to watch a clip.

Click here to read the synopsis.

Pullout and Divorces.

Read about accelerating the U.S. withdrawal from Iraq.

and

Divorce rates are up among the military branches. Surprised?

"I wish the intelligence had been different, I guess," Bush said.

I guess maybe if we had different intelligence thousands of soldiers would not be dead. Thousands of soldiers would not be returning home from war wounded physically and/or mentally. Tell the family members of the deceased soldiers you guess intelligence had been just a little different.

Read what President Bush has to say here.

In My Eyes 6.

Spc. Monica Brown on 60 Minutes.

Brown was on 60 Minutes talking about her experience and being awarded the Silver Star. They also talked to a few male officers about women in combat.

However, 60 Minutes titled their article, "How Pvt. Monica Brown Won A Silver Star." Do you win a Silver Star?

Check it out here.

Thanksgiving.

eat.spend time with your crazy family.and go shopping at 5am tomorrow morning.

meet my dad, my mom and aunt, and my fake turkey.

quote of the day: "go in your jackyard and back off." F.W.H. Jr.

My Trips to the VA Hospital...

are always so ridiculous. Whenever I pull into the parking lot, I look at all the handicap parking spaces. They are usually always filled. Maybe there’s one spot open. You ever notice how many handicap spots there are? There’s a lot, but it ever seems to be enough. I always drive to the back of the parking lot. I figure if I don’t have problems walking, someone who does could use a closer spot. I walk inside and there is always several vets hanging out. The majority of them have on something camo and a dirty old hat that says where they served. I go to the elevator and wait for it to come around. No matter what, when I go to get in the elevator some guy always holds the door back for me. And when I get off, they always let me go first. The military taught them well…ladies first.

Then I go to check in. I tell them my last name and last four. I grab a magazine and sit until it’s time to be weighed, get my temperature, pulse, and blood pressure read. I’m usually the only female waiting unless my appointment is with the gynecologist. I just found out not to long ago, I could go to the VA for my yearly pap smears. Who knew? I love that I can go there for gyno visits. It seems so trivial compared to what other people go there for. The most recent time I went there, I had this male doctor, who apparently I had seen before but didn’t remember. I was getting ready for my pap smear. I wiggled my ass down to the edge of the examination table to place my feet in the stirrups and he starts talking about my ex-boyfriend. I looked at him confused, like have we met before, but he starts telling me things I didn’t even want to remember. I thought he was going to stop talking when he started doing the exam but he kept on going. This doctor was probing me, while asking me why my relationship ended. I started laughing and told him, it just ended and to please stop asking questions. So awkward.

Once I went there for a physical. I ended up meeting a gorgeous Marine in the waiting room. We did that typical, so where did you deploy? What was your job? Rank? You know, all those sizing each other up questions. The more he talked the more I realized how stupid he was. He was so good-looking, that I just wanted to duct tape his mouth shut. Maybe we could work something out if he just didn’t say a goddamn word. He wouldn’t stop though. Just kept on talking about his cousin, where he lives, and carpenter work. I was finally called in and when I was done he was still sitting there. I knew he was going to ask me for my number, so I tried to creep by him. I almost made it out the door but brain-dead Marine ran after me. I gave him my friends number and told him I was looking forward to hanging out.

Other times I’ve been there, cute little old men talk to me about their days. They like telling me about where they served and they tend to always call me kid. One guy took it to the next level once. I was sitting in a chair waiting for my perception and he just started singing cadences to me. I thought he would get bored after the first one but he just keep singing until his meds were ready. I just shook my head and smiled. Cute but crazy.

I went yesterday to get my ear looked at. Yes, I go for ridiculous reasons…but I don’t health insurance and I can’t hear. There were no hot Marines in the waiting room this time. In fact, I don’t think anyone was under the age of 65. I got weighed, my blood pressure read, etc. The nurse told me my blood pressure was low. He asked if I was dizzy and I told him no, so we moved onto the next thing. I saw the doctor. She was sweet but hard to understand. Strong accent. She prescribed eardrops to me and told me to make an appointment for a physical in two months. I went down stairs to the pharmacy and waited. The waiting area is usually just filled with old men but this time a few guys my age were waiting. This excited me…in a weird way. I wasn’t excited that they needed meds for who knows what but because they were my age. I could finally talk to someone my age who was also a veteran. Veterans are hard to find. They usually just mix in with the crowd. Sometimes I can point one out and I’ll usually talk to them. But otherwise, I hang with civilians all the time. I’ll admit it, sometimes this bores me. I love military people. On my latest trip I had an epiphany, I need to hang out at the VA hosp more often. I’m always entertained by someone who could pass as my grandfather, there is an influx of people around my age who I could have a good conversation with, and maybe I can get a hot date. See you at the VA Hospital.

Thank You.

I would just like to say thank you to everyone who reads this blog. Maybe I make you laugh, maybe I annoy you, maybe you agree with something’s I have to say, maybe you think I'm an idiot, maybe I make you want to puke, maybe you like looking at the random photos I take...whatever it is, it’s yours.

Have a good night.

In My Eyes 5.

I popped my eardrum and it's driving me fucking mad.

General Petraeus, 'don't ask, don't tell', and Contractors In Iraq.

I accidentally subscribed to GQ (don't ask) and yesterday I got my second issue. Michael Phelps is on the cover, inside I met James Franco, but more importantly there is an article on Petraeus.

Check it out here.

Obama does not plan on asking Congress to end the ban on homosexuals in the military anytime soon. He might not even get around to it until 2010. Thoughts?

Read the article here.

Private contractors operating in Iraq could face prosecution for acts committed against Iraqi civilians. I don't know why they are there in the first place. My opinion, let the military do its job. If you want to privatize a war, then get the military out of there. I have no problem letting Blackwater Inc., guys drive around in SUVs and play police officers. But get us out of there.

Read the article here.

Operation Survivor.

Survivor Corps (out of Washington, DC) has launched Operation Survivor to help service members returning home from war and their families. Lets face it, regardless of what your job was overseas, you come home a different person. Some have PTSD, TBI, and some have problems reintegrating back into civilian life. To be honest, “home” is still weird to me. We could all benefit from having someone to talk to...but it's even better when support comes from people who have experienced the same things you have. Check out their site, get some support, or find out how you can help.


Operation Survivor.

Watch CPT Scott Quilty on CNN about Survivor Corps.

In My Eyes 4.

In My Eyes 3.

2012.

Only three more years in Iraq?

Iraq's Cabinet approved a security pact with the United States that allows troops to stay in country for three years after the U.N. mandate expires. Thoughts? Just think, after we leave Iraq we can all head to Afghanistan. Might start looking into some real estate in the Middle East.

Read the article here.

Lonely War.

Read the article here.

In My Eyes 2.

Team Dunwoody.

Ann E. Dunwoody, after 33 years in the Army, is the first woman to become a four-star general. This is so amazing. Did you know there are 21 female generals in the Army?

"There is no one more surprised than I — except, of course, my husband. You know what they say, `Behind every successful woman there is an astonished man,'" said Dunwoody.

Read about her story here.

In My Eyes 1.

Slacker.

I know I've been slacking big time and I'm sorry.

Lets see...

1) I got an email this morning from VoteVets/VetVoice guys about the IRR calling up a ton of soldiers right now. Watch out. Do what I did...go back into the Reserves and get a stabilization. No deployments for your remaining time (at least that's what I got.)

2) I break my cameras. Actually, they break themselves. But point is, I got a camera and everyday I'm going to be posting a picture. They will go under the title In My Eyes (Minor Threat!) I hope you enjoy them!

3) I think I'm getting sick. Tonight I'm going to be editing my memoir piece for my professor. It's about 34 pages, he loves it, and wants to do something with it. One point for the veterans!

4) I'm going to LA in January for a few days and then up to Northern CA. Anyone from around there read this thing?

Veterans Day.

Happy Veterans Day! Thank you for your service and thank you to the families that put up with us. Please do not go shopping. Go to your local VA hospital (if you have one) and say thank you. Those two words mean more than you'll ever know.

Here are a few pictures of me while I was in Iraq, a photo of my unit, a picture of my father and I (he served in the Army also and yes, the picture is a few years old), a picture of a solider trying to feed me chicken while I was asleep (such a jerk), and a few pictures I found when I searched “Veterans Day” on google.

President Barack Obama.

Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!

I'm excited, I'm nervous, I don't believe it yet...I might cry (tears of joy.)

My friend just called me. I answered the phone, "I know!!" Then we just started screaming.

The Middle Finger.

In one of my posts for the New York Times, I wrote..."I looked around for a while, checked out the other parties, gave the middle finger to a candidate, voted, and finally got out of the booth."

A few concerned Americans have wrote comments that the act of me giving the middle finger was inappropriate, and it was a sign that I was angry, etc.

First of all, thank you for making my night even more enjoyable. You have given me something to laugh about. I wasn’t angry when I voted, I was excited. I was so excited, that my middle finger magically popped up and told someone to fuck off. Get over it. If you are honestly offended by this, I beg you to never leave your home…it’s an awful world out there. People might actually give you the middle finger.

I’m not completely sure why this was taken so seriously. I guess that’s what we do, make something out of nothing. And if I knew people would get so upset over it, I would’ve raised both my middle fingers.

If you think about it…whoever you vote for, you are basically giving the middle finger to the other candidate, right?

Well, I guess we all told someone to fuck off tonight.

The Caucus: The New York Times Politics Blog.

I had the opportunity to write on the NYT Caucus blog during one of the Presidential debates and now I'm back for election night. Veterans, their regular contributors, and students all share their election day stories, etc.

Hope voting is going well for everyone.


Check it out here.
(There are a ton of posts...scroll around!)

Here is a direct link to the comments from vets, the regulars, and the students.

I'll be posting more tonight when the returns start coming in.

vote.VOTE.vote.VOTE!

Good morning,

It's November 4th, 2008. You only really have to do one thing today and that is VOTE!!!

Fat Bastard.

A Marine calls out U.S. Rep. John Murtha. I love when people actually speak their mind.

Read the article here.

Germany...

Hello! Guten Tag!

So, you guys just saw Band of Bloggers? Were there subtitles...how did they do it?
Thank you for the emails!

Side note: I'm part German! My parents tell me that's why I'm so stubborn.

What is...

boring, exciting, uncomfortable, clever, hilarious, stimulating...what would keep you interested (in anything)? Please tell me.

Halloween.

Tonight I'm going to see Henry Rollins at the Egg in Albany. My ride is late. I didn't dress up. I have a black dress on, black tights with an odd little design in them, and black boots...my hair is also black. I suppose you could call me a witch.
Hope everyone has a good night.

Rollins

at the egg...

Wednesdays.

In-between classes on Wednesdays, I go to the book store. I try to buy at least one book...I've recently been on a Hunter S. Thompson kick (last week I bought, The Great Shark Hunt Vol. 1). Today I picked up "A Man Without a Country," by Kurt Vonnegut. I feel like I'm hanging out with my grandfather when I'm reading this...he's teaching me everything I need to know about life. He's hilarious and straight forward. Check it out.


Every week I run into the same two books. First is, “Generation Kill,” by Evan Wright. I enjoy staring at the cover like a creep. I am secretly in lust with the soldier on the left holding the flag. Then I see, “Black Belt Patriotism: How to Reawaken America," by Chuck Norris. This automatically makes me go from daydreaming about soldier boy to wanting to fight Norris. I don't know why I hate this book so much. It might be because Norris is on the cover in a karate outfit doing some wacko move. I want to throw the book out the window every time I pass it. I haven't read it, so I'm judging a book by its cover. If you read it, tell me how it is.

Seriously?





Side note: I can't wait for this election to be over with.

How to be feminine in the Army.

I’m always asked things like…don’t you feel like a guy while you’re doing your Army stuff? Don’t you get dirty and sweaty? You’re allowed to have long hair? Shouldn’t you shave it off like in that movie G.I. Jane? Can you wear makeup? Nail polish? Earrings? Thongs? No heels?! Welcome to my world ladies…it’s tough but someone has to do it.

I decided to make a list of how to maintain your femininity while proudly serving your country.

1) Keep your hair long or to your chin. Don’t try any of that in-between length shit. I say this for two reasons. Short hair is extremely hard to keep pulled back. Pieces will always fly everywhere, it ends up falling in your face, and you will never quit make a nice bun out of it. You end up looking like a goddamn mess. I’m particular to longer hair. I just pull it back and go. My hair is thick and when it’s short I tend to look like that guy from No Country for Old Men…this obviously lessens my chances of getting laid when I'm off duty. And remember if you have short hair stuffed under a Kevlar, there is a good chance you may get mistaken for a twelve year old boy.

2) Makeup is allowed. Some may think it is ridiculous women in the military wear makeup but it’s not. Before I go any further, let me explain what appropriate makeup is. Please don’t be that girl who uses two pounds of eyeliner and mascara in the morning. There is no room for that Amy Winehouse off the eyelid eyeliner crap in the military. I say keep your eyes naked but if you’re one of those mascara freaks just use a little. Some women don’t have perfect skin and they need a little something to help them out. Foundation is acceptable. Just make sure it matches your skin color, so you don’t have that orange line around your face. Blush? Why not. Do not make your cheeks bright pink. I would go towards that sun kissed look. I would suggest staying away from lipstick unless you are a pit bull. Lip gloss, is okay but if anyone asks just say it’s chap stick and that you’re addicted (it has always worked for me).

3) Earrings? This isn’t the goddamn Air Force.

4) Nail polish? Use it. Your nails will break and become frail. Don’t use reds, purples, blues, french manicure style, or anything fancy. I would suggest using a clear polish just to protect your nails. We don’t need man hands, now do we?

5) Panties, Underwear, Knickers, whatever you want to call them. In basic training we all wore those huge white granny panties…not cute and please stop wearing them if you still do. Some women wear thongs in uniform and I have no idea how they do it. I imagine their ass would get all irritated and red. Gross. I wear low-rise bikinis from Victoria Secret…this is important because they don’t give me wedgies and they are comfortable. I should probably stay away from what type of underwear you want to wear…but leave the thongs for when the lights go out.

6) Lets talk about the end of the day, when you pull off your boots and socks and notice the lovely sock line around your calves. That annoying indentation won’t go away, so this is when you have to decide what is best for you. I know you want to look cute when everyone heads out to the club on post but don’t wear a dress or skirt if you have those damn lines. They take away from the fact that your blew out your hair, sprayed some perfume, and ditched the combat boots for a few hours. They are also a clear reminder to the drunk male soldier dancing with you, that you’re still a soldier and not this hot chick he picked up a bar. The lines kill it. Wear some tight jeans and throw on some heels, but hide the lines.

7) Bras…well there is always the super sexy sports bra. Wear it when you are doing PT and then hide it. Push-up bra is only for those who don’t have huge tits. Lacey bras might annoy your skin if you’re rolling around in the dirt. I would have to go with the good ’ol lightly padded cotton bra. It holds you in place, doesn’t itch, and when you have an IBV on that little padding works wonders.

8) I suppose this doesn’t really have anything to do with femininity but it’s something I’ve noticed over the years. Ladies, when you take off your uniform and put on civilian clothes, why do some of you look like you came out of the late 199s? I know sometimes we can only do our shopping at the PX and lord knows, they aren’t up on the current fashions but order clothes online. It’s not cute to wear Hello Kitty t-shirts over the age of 12, stonewash jeans, and shiny platform shoes. You look lost. Guys don’t think you’re not victims of the PX because you are. Cargo jeans are meant for carpenters, keep it that way. “Wife beaters” aren’t sexy, and don’t wear those stupid Army shirts that says “Hooah” or “Been there, done that.”

9) Lose the combat boots whenever you can and throw on some heels. You don’t even have to be going anywhere but put them on when you are laying in bed, when you are cleaning, or whenever you feel like you are losing your sexiness. Just because the Army has us running around, sweating, pissing in the woods and wiping with leafs, low crawling in dirt, climbing on trucks and firing weapons, doesn’t mean we still aren’t gorgeous women…it just means, we have a lot more experience then the women who never take off their heels. Be proud.

Hope this helps!

Mom and Daughter Join the Army Together.

Carolyn Schapper, sent me this email this morning. It's an article that appeared in the SFGate. A daughter joined the Army and her mother decided to join also...awwww. However, the quotes are the best part. For example:

"I'm a mom," she said. "This will give me a chance to protect her and keep an eye on her."

"More than anything, Altoon (the mother) was worried that her daughter would end up in a place like Iraq. But Schlotthauer (the daughter) and Dean (the recruiter) convinced her that, as a reservist and computer information technology expert, there was little chance that her daughter would be deployed to a war zone. Not that it's never happened, Dean said, but the odds are very much against it."

If people honestly believe this...they are fucking idiots. I’ll send both of them a care package.

"Schlotthauer says she gets grief at school, too. Some wonder why a cheerleader would join the Army, or say that only ugly girls join the military."

A lof of ugly girls are in the military...and a lot of ugly guys too. What the hell does it matter?

The recruiter said (Dean)..."It's a real stereotype that the Army is a choice of last resort," she said. "We want them educated. That's why we're sending them to school. And you can pick jobs other than a mechanic or working in the dirt. "You can still be feminine and cute and wear makeup, get your nails done," she said.

This article had me cracking up. Don't worry little ladies you aint gotta be ugly, roll around in the dirt, and fix them cars...and your mommy can come along too! Give me a break. I will admit my toe nails are always a shade of red.


Read the article here.

The Embed Process.

After meeting and interviewing female service members stateside, I suggested half jokingly our next stop should be Iraq. That would only make sense, right? We interviewed a wide range of women who have served in Iraq but people should be able to actually see what Iraq is like for us. Our day-to-day lives, our jobs, where we sleep, what we eat, how we pass the time, the bonds we make, and everything else in between. I suppose we could ship over a view video cameras and do a half ass job of portraying what it is like over there...but that takes the fun out of it. So, here is where we stand...my big mouth and an amazing Navy LT from the Pentagon we interviewed got us in touch with a CPT from the Multi-National Force Iraq, who helps with the embed process...we've submitted our paperwork and are waiting for a response.

This is why I need body armor. We need to supply our own and it's hard to get a hold of. I still find this really bizarre.

I told my mother and a few friends what I was trying to do. My mother is convinced I'll give her a heart attack within the next few years and she doesn't understand why I need to do this. This is what I told her. 1) Soldiers don't get to decide if they want to go to Iraq or Afghanistan or anywhere else for that matter...they just do it. And if I need to go to Iraq, I'll go to Iraq. 2) We can do interview after interview but to really attempt to understand something or present it, you should be intimate with it. 3) I told her this will hopefully shed light on the female Soldier...maybe after this we won't be asked, "did you carry a gun over there?", "what about your period?", "did you feel weird over there?", etc.
4) And then I told her it was my old "stumping ground" and I was almost kind of excited to go back. (This was her least favorite point.) She's finally starting to warm up to the idea. She knows I won't be gone for a year or even a month...but she looks at me like there's still a possibility that the worse could happen. So I made her read this...

Security by Hunter S. Thompson

"Security ... what does this word mean in relation to life as we know it today? For the most part, it means safety and freedom from worry. It is said to be the end that all men strive for; but is security a utopian goal or is it another word for rut?

Let us visualize the secure man; and by this term, I mean a man who has settled for financial and personal security for his goal in life. In general, he is a man who has pushed ambition and initiative aside and settled down, so to speak, in a boring, but safe and comfortable rut for the rest of his life. His future is but an extension of his present, and he accepts it as such with a complacent shrug of his shoulders. His ideas and ideals are those of society in general and he is accepted as a respectable, but average and prosaic man. But is he a man? has he any self-respect or pride in himself? How could he, when he has risked nothing and gained nothing? What does he think when he sees his youthful dreams of adventure, accomplishment, travel and romance buried under the cloak of conformity? How does he feel when he realizes that he has barely tasted the meal of life; when he sees the prison he has made for himself in pursuit of the almighty dollar? If he thinks this is all well and good, fine, but think of the tragedy of a man who has sacrificed his freedom on the altar of security, and wishes he could turn back the hands of time. A man is to be pitied who lacked the courage to accept the challenge of freedom and depart from the cushion of security and see life as it is instead of living it second-hand. Life has by-passed this man and he has watched from a secure place, afraid to seek anything better What has he done except to sit and wait for the tomorrow which never comes?

Turn back the pages of history and see the men who have shaped the destiny of the world. Security was never theirs, but they lived rather than existed. Where would the world be if all men had sought security and not taken risks or gambled with their lives on the chance that, if they won, life would be different and richer? It is from the bystanders (who are in the vast majority) that we receive the propaganda that life is not worth living, that life is drudgery, that the ambitions of youth must he laid aside for a life which is but a painful wait for death. These are the ones who squeeze what excitement they can from life out of the imaginations and experiences of others through books and movies. These are the insignificant and forgotten men who preach conformity because it is all they know. These are the men who dream at night of what could have been, but who wake at dawn to take their places at the now-familiar rut and to merely exist through another day. For them, the romance of life is long dead and they are forced to go through the years on a treadmill, cursing their existence, yet afraid to die because of the unknown which faces them after death. They lacked the only true courage: the kind which enables men to face the unknown regardless of the consequences.

As an afterthought, it seems hardly proper to write of life without once mentioning happiness; so we shall let the reader answer this question for himself: who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed?"

She's now starting to understand me more.

Honestly.

I only love a few things. One is a band called Modern Life is War. You'll find them in LA, Iowa, Holland, and Dirty Jersey walking the streets. Listen to them (you have to give them a chance.)

538 Johnson in Brooklyn...can't touch this.

(Can you find me?)



Check them out on youtube, myspace, etc etc etc.

W.

I went to see W. on Friday...save your money.

1) For anyone who has followed this administration nothing in this film will come as a surprise. Nothing.
2) I thought Stone had more balls...the film was weak and I almost sympathized with President Bush. I have no idea why people were making such a big deal out of this. (Well besides the fact Bush is still in office.)
3) I was impressed with some of camera shots.
4) Condoleezza Rice was completely annoying and I wanted to slap her a few times.
5) Colin Powell...poor man. He was the only one thinking with his head. AND he just endorsed Obama.
6) Josh Brolin nailed President Bush. I did laugh at some of the phrases the President said and his mannerisms.

That’s basically it. Nothing new, nothing exciting, Stone put me to sleep.

Body Armor?

I need body armor. My unit doesn't have any (weird but true). Someone hit up their supply guy for me.

Reality Check.

I was at work and ran into a girl from high school. I hate this. I do one of two things. 1) I ignore them. 2) Or get suckered into the how are you, what’s new, blah blah blah conversation. Anyways, this girl told me she joined the Navy. We talked about when she was leaving, if she was excited and then I asked her why the Navy. Ready? This is great. She tells me she joined the Navy because, “I don’t want to go war. So the Marines and Army were out of the question. And my big thing is I don‘t want to have to carry a gun.” And no way to the Air Force because all she’ll want to do is fly a plane and she doesn’t have 20/20 vision. I looked at her like she was an idiot. I think she is an idiot. Who the hell joins any branch of the military in 2008unwilling to carry a gun or go to war? Does this chick not pay attention to world affairs? Maybe she hopes she’ll be sitting pretty on a ship, playing cards and avoiding the desert heat and sand. Someone needs a reality check.

I told her about some Navy women I know, who love the Navy and who also ended up in Iraq. She shrugged her shoulders and took a swig of her beer. She leaves in March...five months until her wake up call.

Save the Dog!

(Look how cute they are)

Sgt. Gwen Beberg of Minneapolis wants her dog! Beberg and another soldier rescued Ratchet from a burning pile of trash and now she just wants to bring the dog back to the states. However, there are rules that prohibit soldiers from adopting pets. BUT you can sign a petition to help Beberg rescue Ratchet.

Read: Army blocks soldier from bringing puppy back, by Frederic J. Frommer, Associated Press Writer

Sign the petition here. I did it and so can you.

Check out: Operation Baghdad Pups.

boring night.

I've been studying for an evil test for the past two days and I will continue to study all night. I'm almost done with school. I'd say probably another year. What's more exciting is that I'll be out of the Army in 14 months...which in Reserve time is about 42 days! Once I'm done with school and out of the Army I'll be leaving Albany. Maybe I'll go to DC, the city, or maybe LA (not a huge fan of LA but I do have a lot of friends there and it could be interesting)...I have no idea yet. Let me visit so I can decide where I want to move.

I worked today. I hate going into work. I should just quit this job. There is this lady who drives me insane. She is so loud, takes up enough room for two people...and when I'm in a sad mood I'll sit next to her just so I become completely irate. It works...I forget about being sad and becoming extremely annoyed. Try it.

Documentary news...You'll have to wait for that. Don't worry you'll find out soon. It's going to be insane. Maybe we are just insane.

Oh, and maybe some of you will be pleased to know I kind of have an editor now. Jason, I hope this makes you happy. However, he will not being editing this and I'm allowed to use my ...! He said it's "trendy."

Read: The article about McCain in Rolling Stone. It's long and scary but worth it.

Read: Western Journalists in Iraq Stage Pullback of Their Own. Coverage of the war is slowly disappearing.

Listen to: Johnny Cash!

Wesley Clark and Dispatches.

My good friend who works for UCLA, had the opportunity to interview General Wesley Clark the other day. Love him!

Watch it here.

Dispatches: by Matthew D. LaPlante. He is the national security reporter for The Salt Lake Tribune and has been to Iraq twice with Utah troops.

Check out his take.

Thoughts?

So what did everyone think of the debate?


Again, please check out the NYT Debate Watch here.

Read what my favorite LT (Nixon) thought of the debate.

The New York Times Debate Watch.

"The New York Times enlisted former and current military personnel from around the country to weigh in on the second presidential debate in real time. Look out for their remarks on The Caucus when the debate starts at 9 p.m. Eastern."

There are 13 panelists, including myself. (You might not recognize me...no glasses!)

Meet the panelists here.

Our view!

The Caucus.

I Would Like to Apologize to Everyone...

I just got this email for a concerned reader...

"Hi,

This is going to appear incredibly random and without context, and for that, I apologize. I'm just another anti-war milblogger. As a veteran also pursuing Journalism and Photojournalism, I find it exciting and refreshing to find others like myself, regardless of political stance. I suppose my comment is part compliment, and part request. You are a talented communicator with positive and important ideas, but your format and structure make your blog very difficult to read, and follow. The last thing I wanted for this email is to come off like some showy, arrogant, ass clown - please don't mistake me into that category. I don't agree with your views on the war, but I enjoy reading your work, and the ideas you are working with. My request is that you pay a bit more attention to punctuation, and compositional structure. Unless, of course, I completely missed the point and your intent as a writer is to appear less accessible.

Amiably,
Jason"


While I know my punctuation is not perfect and I guess my compositional structure is a little off (I'll work on splitting up my paragraphs), I hope you realize I want to be accessible. If you can not follow my posts, please email me...I could even call you and read them to you. Sometimes I misuse to and too...or then and than...and maybe you should know I have trouble pronouncing the word thesaurus. Oh, and if you ever meet me I'm incredibly shy and am always touching something. If you’d like to edit my shit you could do that also.

Jason, I appreciate your honesty…that’s a good quality to have. (Sorry, I really like using ... don't hold is against me)

Someone tell McCain and Palin...

The U.N. said the war in Afghanistan cannot be won military. There needs to be dialogue. Sorry McCain and Palin, a surge a few years to late of exhausted Soldiers won't do it this time.

It's complicated.

Drill Weekend, the Debate...

I have drill this weekend...which actually starts tonight for no good reason at all. We were suppose to go to Ft. Drum but someone did not do the proper paperwork for us to get funding. Brilliant. We went last month...four days there, it was hell. However, I did learn that I shoot the 9mm with my right hand while using my left eye. This takes skill considering, I shoot the M16 with my left hand (and my left eye)...but I am right handed in the "real world." Confused? So am I. I shoot completely ass backwards but at least I'm an okay shot. So who knows what we will be doing this month...probably nothing. There will be drama, talks of deploying to Iraq, harassing this one bible thumping Soldier (who I love talking to about Jesus), Soldiers sleeping in the bathroom because they are hung over...you know, the normal Army bullshit.


Who watched the debate last night?! I did. Biden let me down...only because I felt he held back a little. Palin? Energy, maverick...maverick, energy...Hello, third grade class! Extra credit! I think she should make up a new word...Mavergy. The only two things she seems to speak of in one word…it’ll make her life even easier. The best part was Palin talking about Afghanistan…. Who’s McClellan? Say it aint so Sarah!! Did ya mean McKiernan? Dog garnit, I think ya did. *wink wink*

Brandon Friedman writes about her oops! here.

If More Women Traded...

maybe the stock market wouldn't be such a mess! Thanks for nothing guys!

Is testosterone to blame for the financial crisis? By Jordan Lite

Laugh, it's funny.

Dispatches and a Portfolio.

From Vanity Fair...

Read: Return to the Valley of Death by Sebastian Junger.

Captain Daniel Kearney..."I want you guys to mourn and then I want you guys to get on with your jobs. Hey, Proctor, why did you join the army?"
"To fight for my country, sir," Private Kenneth Proctor answered.
"Did you expect there was a chance you might get injured or die?"
"Yes, sir."
"Anybody not know this is an option?"
Silence.

Look: Scenes from the Front Lines. Photographs by Tim
Hetherington.


Look: Fighters' Faces. Photographs by Tim Hetherington.


From The New Yorker...

Look: Portfolio on Service by Platon.


Listen to: Cat Power.

The Last Tour: A decorated marine's war within by William Finnegan.

This piece appears in the September 29th issue of the New Yorker. Everyone needs to read this. This Marine went to hell and back...his story is insane and heartbreaking and disturbing. I cried. Read it...please.

Staff Sergeant Travis Twiggs.



AND there are also some great photographs in this issue by Platon. He followed men and women who served in Iraq and Afghanistan and their families. (You might actually have to buy the magazine to see these photos but check out his site.) PLATON.

Get Real.

I went to the bookstore today in search of a few good magazines and maybe grab a book. I found myself in the “Women’s Interest” section of the magazines. What the hell. It goes from bad, to horrible, to I really wish I was born a man. Lets see what my selection consisted of… Weddings! Thanks but no thanks. Knitters? Honestly, Knitters? No. Bead Unique, Celebrate the Holidays, tons of fashion magazines, Cosmopolitan, the Oprah magazine, Yoga…it’s a fucking trap. Apparently, I am suppose to be planning a wedding, knitting my winter scarf, wearing some shitty dress that makes you look pregnant just because it’s in style, catching up on all the new sex tips… first of all, pass the tips to the two pump chumps we tend to waste our time on, and I guess still trying to lose that stubborn 10lbs that just doesn’t seem to want to go anywhere…however, if I can’t lose the weight, Cosmo told me to just do the reverse cowgirl to hide my belly. Life is hell for women…according to these magazines. I don’t feel good about myself after browsing this shit. 1) I realize I can’t really cook or knit. 2) My holidays are going to suck because I will probably fuck up my Santa Claus cake. 3) A wedding? Lets all laugh together now. If I ever get married its when I am at least 75. 4) Maybe I should’ve bought the other black flats because the ones I have on aren’t in all the magazines. 5) Cosmo just makes women more insane…Why do they want to decode men for us? I don’t want to know what he’s really thinking when he says “hmmm” while tilting his head at a 30 degree angle…because according to Cosmo, that means I’ll be getting dumping two weeks from today because I didn’t cook dinner enough. So I finally gathered my composer and ventured off into the current affairs section. I grabbed a few magazines and then I went for it…the “Men’s Interest” section. I see gorgeous women licking their lips and pushing their asses in the air, fast cars, intelligent people on the covers of these magazines…I certainly don’t see “Guys! Drop those stubborn 10lbs.” or knit the perfect holiday scarf. It’s just not fair. Then I checked out the military magazines, which are clearly geared towards 60 year old men (The military magazines need to catch up. Stop talking about the Revolutionary War…it’s 2008, we have other shit going on). I walked out of the magazine section with Bust (yes, a magazine for women), the New Yorker and a huge headache.

So here is my point. When will women finally get their chance to be real? I have an idea! My idea…there are several blogs out there by female service members and veterans, why don’t we start a blog for female service members by female service members (for us, by us)…touch on all the topics that seem to be neglected, clarify a few things, openly acknowledge issues and challenges females face, let people into our world…and be honest doing it and laugh at ourselves a little. It would be amazing to get a group of women who would be interested in trying this out…each write something, start a new blog, and see how it goes. I have a few emails addresses of some women but if you’re reading this and think this could work, please email me (arita8x8@yahoo.com).

Al Jazeera English Version.

Iraq signs deal with shell. check out the story on Al Jazeera.

It's the end of the world as we know it...read what Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said at the annual UN general assembly.

Wafaa Bilal's "Virtual Jihadi".

I have to run out the door...however, please check this out. (read it all!)

Virtual Jihadi.

News News News!

U.S. Raid Kills 7, 3 Women, 1 child injuried.

7 Soldiers die in helicopter crash.

Our role is shrinking in Iraq.
Hello Afghanistan!!!

I'm so behind with everything...

Whenever I get Vanity Fair I always turn to the last page...the Questionnaire. I love them. So instead of doing whatever I need to be doing right now (however, today was productive so far...cleaned, went to class, picked up a few things for my fathers birthday...he's going to be 75 on Sunday…bless his old old heart, got my haircut (always a disaster)...) I'm going to do the questionnaire. Why? Because I don't feel like doing anything else...it's raining outside...it's cold...and I enjoy being alone. So here is goes...AND please do it also...it will be a great way to introduce yourself.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Being totally enthralled in something you love. (I highly dislike the word perfect).

What is your greatest fear?
Letting fear get the best of me.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
My stubbornness.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Their fear.

What is your greatest extravagance?
Traveling. I need to travel more.

What is your current state of mind?
Busy. Almost filled to the rim...a few bumps and bruises but my glass is always half full.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Moderation.

On what occasion do you lie?
Whenever I want someone to stop talking...anything to get them to shut up.

Which living person do you most despise?
I despise a lot of people.

What is the quality you most like in a man?
Honesty, humor, strength, and willingness to take a chance.

What is the quality you most like in a woman?
A woman needs to know how to laugh at herself.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
"Really?"

Who is the greatest love of your life?
He knows.

When and where were you happiest?
Several places and at different points in my life.

Which talent would you most like to have?
To read peoples lips.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I just want to know more…everything if it were possible.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
That’s a work in progress.

If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
Myself.

What is your most treasured possession?
My memory.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Watching someone endure pain. Slowly lose a battle.

What is your most marked characteristic?
I‘m told…“Your passion”.

What do you most value in your friends?
Their patience.

What are your heroes in real life?
Don’t do the whole hero thing.

What is it that you most dislike?
Time.

What is your greatest regret?
Not speaking up.

How would you like to die?
Not knowing I was dying.

What is your motto?
Don’t fall for the American dream BS…it isn’t just about the money.

Vote for LT Nixon!

Milblogging.com (am I suppose to call them something else? Clearly I'm up to speed with milblogging.com) nominated him for his highly entertaining blog.


Vote here!

LT Nixon Rants.

Does Henry Rollins Need An Assistant? Oh, and Waterboarding.

I nominate myself. I'm not sure how much I could stand...however, I would like a shot. Mr. Rollins...e-mail me?

Read a piece he wrote for Vanity Fair. It's about Sleepy John.

Also...

Watch Christopher Hitchens waterboarding session.


One of my goals: to write for Vanity Fair.

IntroduceYourself.

I've never been good with introducing myself to a classroom full of unfamiliar faces. I get nervous, my heart races and I think to myself...fuck, I'm going to stutter, say something that doesn't make any sense or drool on myself. Now I combine that with, well should I say I'm a veteran? What if people do not support the war? They might automatically hate me. Or will they think I have PTSD and been sexually assaulted? Will they think I love President Bush? Ahh. Tonight in my journalism class, we got into small groups...groups of three. We had to learn about one another. I was with two other females...one was probably 21 or 22 and the other in her forties. We had to ask each other a question...the younger girl, who I'll call Christina asked our (the 40 something year old) could be mom, if she was married, where did she meet her husband, do they have kids, etc. We found out cute little stories about their relationship. Christina asked me, "So do you know what you want to do after you graduate? How did you get into journalism?" I could have played it safe and just said throughout the years I read a lot, enjoyed writing and would love to write for a local newspaper. However, I didn't play it safe. I told them the real story...joined the Army at 17, deployed to Iraq, worked as a photojournalist, fell in love with it, currently write on a blog and am working on a documentary...nothing to be ashamed of but accomplishments at the age of 24 I'm proud of. Christina and could be mom, were really excited. They continued to ask me tons of questions...the best one was from Christina, "did you wear the Army outfit? Camouflage and stuff?". I didn’t hate her for this question…why should she know something so simple? I also learned Christina’s brother wants to join the Army but his parents won't let him (he is 24). Ten minutes later it was time to share our stories. Group one goes...a kid accidentally made fun of midget and now feels really bad about it. The students laugh, the professor asks questions...it's likeable. The professor asked if anyone else had an interesting story, Christina raises her hand. She starts off completely enthusiastic, "I have a story about Kate!", and then she jumped into it...she ended it a few minutes later saying, "I thought it was really interesting because I never met an Army girl before". Christina was sweet and made me feel comfortable. My professor looked at me and said something to the effect of...I'm sure you'll be able to write a memoir piece about your experience. I smiled and shook my head. No questions/comments from anyone. Just blank stares. Awkward. The professor quickly moves to the next group. The group is three females and all from the city (New York city). They do not have a story. One of the girls tells a story about herself. "Well one time my friend got her nose broken at a bar," she says. Everyone asks why. "Someone mistook her for me. I "accidentally" spilled a drink on a girl and my friend got punched by someone who thought they were punching me". Everyone laughs, asks questions...my professor wants more details. I'm staring at this girl. Her tan is fake, she is wearing Coach high-top sneakers, short jean shorts on, a wife beater with her sunglasses hanging on her collar, her hair covered in gel to give it that almost curly look, and an over the top accent. Did I miss something? Please do not get it confused…I do not expect people to be fascinated by a girl who went to war and who is now sitting in a classroom…I do not expect anything. But a typical city girl with a typical shitty bar story, peaks interest in everyone? Who knew being a carbon copy could get you so far. Maybe her story was funny...I would love to see a girl like this get punched in the face but I don't care enough to hear about her pointless story. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, what really matters to people? Can we not talk about the war? I've argued before people do not care. I'm starting to think it might be the way information about the war is being delivered to the public. PTSD, deaths, oil, politics...who really wants to speak about this? Who really wants to speak to someone who has experienced it, when all they probably heard are the horrors of it all? I often think that we can not laugh about war. Nothing is funny. However, if I did not laugh in Iraq and at situations when I came home I would have lost my mind. It is funny...at times. Soldiers are hilarious…I‘ve pissed my pants laughing with and at them, some missions seem so ridiculous that you have to laugh at them, those giving orders are questionable, you find yourself doing insane things...if you cannot laugh, you cannot survive. So where is the humor? Where are those stories? Hidden under piles of what we feel we should know about the war...the stories that would shed some light on the common Soldier, allow the public to step into their boots for a split second, are floating around somewhere...maybe down the road when the dust has cleared, classrooms won't become silent when someone announces they are a Soldier, a veteran...there won't be such a disconnect with citizens and the veterans among them...until then I'll have a nervous breakdown each time I have to introduce myself to anyone, questioning if I should say I'm a veteran...something I am proud of but at times do not want acknowledge for fear of stupid questions and looks, being stereotyped and pegged as a PTSD mutant.

restlessness.

It's A Girl!!

Yeah, I know I'm a little late. Gov. Sarah Palin...brilliant pick! Well for one, she’s a woman, attractive, a Martha Stewart type, who I guess McCain trusts to run this country if something happens to his old ass. It is very comforting that McCain and Palin have met once before he picked her. Who is this woman? I know she's 44, a mother of five, one of her sons is deploying to Iraq (who names their son Track?), graduated from the University of Idaho (Journalism major), she is a first-term governor, and...hang on, I'm thinking...well...that's about it. By the looks of it, one day I just might be picked as a VP…I just have to finish my degree, move to a small town, get knocked up, and support offshore drilling. Maybe this gets some undecided voters and a few women excited (not me) but lets all remember we aren't voting for a cute VP. Let the games begin.

One more thing…I love this…

“It turns out the women of America aren’t finished yet and we can shatter the glass ceiling once and for all,” Palin said.

Palin, shut the fuck up. I really hope Palin doesn’t think she can pickup where Hillary left off. In the eyes of a female who supported Hillary, Palin is a joke.

Obamas Speech...

Watch it?!

"...I love this country, and so do you, and so does John McCain. The men and women who serve in our battlefields may be Democrats and Republicans and Independents, but they have fought together and bled together and some died together under the same proud flag. They have not served a Red America or a Blue America – they have served the United States of America."

Killed it!

After the speech I wanted to put on one of my combat boots, a high-heel on the other foot, throw on a hard hat, go to China and get some of our jobs back, read a book to inner-city kids, hug my neighbors, yell at McCain, and go search of Bin Laden.

Here is the whole speech.

Only 3 in 10...

people ages 17 to 24 are eligible to enlist. Why? They have health and legal issues or no high school diploma. Determined to expand the Army by 74,000 in about two years...the Army started a prep school! I personally think this is a good idea...give kids a chance who dropped out of school. The word "dropout" is so harsh. I'd rather have a kid who dropped out of high school, who was given the opportunity through the Army to get a GED and make something of themselves serve with me, rather than a delinquent with a criminal record by my side. AND if this doesn't work? Draft 'em up.

Read the article here.

I want Hillary back...

I'll admit it...I voted for Hillary and I want her back.

And according to Gallup Daily, McCain is ahead of Obama. I'm curious though, in these polls...who exactly are they polling? Enlighten me.


No bounce for Obama.

Welcome to UAlbany!

So today was the day...started my classes. How do I even start this post? I haven't been in school for a year (granted I did take a summer class-got an A) but this is my first time at this university. I was surrounded by thousands of people...I had to sit in a bunch of classrooms and get use to this life all over again. Before I even made it to a classroom, a few things jumped out at me. 1) Big girls in short short skirts. Ya know, I just don't get why they do it...and it is nothing anyone wants to see unless they are at least eight beers in and planned on making a mistake that night. A few more inches of fabric and the world wouldn't have to be exposed to your goods. Work on it. 2) It is so cliquey. Asians not talking to anyone but themselves. Home coming queens with fake tans chatting it up. Basketball players wearing mesh shorts and spinning a ball. Long Island chicks carrying outdated Loui Vitton bags. It goes on and on. My first class is entry level journalism...at least 40 kids are in it. Our professor is very sweet, soft spoken, and loves to ramble. Within 40 minutes we learned all about her life, who she write for, how she thinks Biden is a "political loser", how we shouldn't swear in print (I told my mom this and she said, "Katie, sit on your hands and duct tape your mouth), she passed out voter registration forms to the great Americans who still aren't registered to vote, and she asked some questions. She asked all of us, "why did you decide to major in journalism?" A girl in the front raised her hand, "I wanna be on TV." This same girl later asked, referring to an article we need to read, “where dat article be?” Good luck getting on TV…maybe your major should be English. Another boy asked, "so is the lucrative?" Really? Why...so you can continue color coordinating your sneakers, with your t-shirts and your hat? Hopefully he will make no money, so he is forced to stop dressing like an asshole. That class ended (thank god!) and it was time to go to a Sociology class. This class is 134 people. Yay! We are all just a number. I don't know what it is...but it's like I attract assholes. They always end up sitting by me. Two classy girls sat behind me. One of the girls laughs was horrendous...and she was loud on purpose. You know those people? Like hahaha, look at me, now wait...I'm going to flip by hair and look at me again. They just start talking about drinking wine and beers...and then it takes the turn into the "so who did you fuck?" conversation. Well, Loud Mouth didn't approve of who Loosey McLoose fucked the other night and that turned into a "what were you thinking" lecture. Loud mouth, joked to McLoose that she probably got crabs or the clap...and McLoose agreed. But wait, they get even classier. McLoose tells her...oops, they had anal sex...by mistake. By mistake? Everyone knows that doesn't happen by "mistake". Loud mouth freaked and told her, "you totally took one for the team." I'll give her that much. Next! Went to another journalism class. The professor was on a writing assignment in Canada. We grabbed the paperwork and left. I'm praying to someone/something this class will be entertaining and challenging. So what's next? I have no idea. I have classes everyday...still working a few jobs...I'll be in Ft. Drum for four days soon (that should be interesting)...Documentary is coming along. Welcome to my world.

"Urgent"

I get an urgent voicemail from my boss, "Katie, please call me I have a message for you and no I don't want you to work." I called my boss only because he said he wasn’t going to ask me to work. He starts telling me about this Special Investigator guy who called looking for me about something that happened while I was in Iraq. Huh? I asked if he was serious and he gave me the gentleman’s number. I hung up and call my roommate from Iraq. I was like, "Rosa, what did we do in Iraq?" We sat on the phone for a few minutes trying to figure out everything we did in Iraq that we shouldn't have done...then we got our stories straight. No Blue Falcons here. So I call Mr. Special Investigator guy...I guess he does investigation regarding the reconstruction of Iraq...who knows. He asked me when I was in Iraq, what my job was, where my building was located, to described the building, etc. Then he started asking questions about the Mayors Cell. I asked him what this was all regarding...he told me something that happened at the Mayors Cell. Oh thank god...Rosa and I were in the clear. The Mayors Cell was where our Command Staff worked out of...drama all the time. Relationships forming, fighting, etc. So I thought I knew exactly was it was all about...one of our commanders messing around. I asked Mr.Investigator, "does this have to do with sex?" He stuttered a few times and said, "uhh uhh no. Generators". What? Generators? Probably shouldn't have yelled out sex. He proceeded to ask me if I remember the generators over there, their color, who worked on them, any KBR employees, blah blah blah. The whole time I'm wondering if he is serious...generators? Three fucking years later. Are you kidding me? I told him no over and over again...apologized I couldn't help with the investigation and wished him luck. Before I hung up, he asked me to look at the photos I took over there to see if I had any of generators. I told him generators weren't my top priority.


Side note: I called up another kid I was deployed with. All he did was work on generators...he already spoke to the guy. However, he told me they are investigating the contracts we had and how we obtained the generators. Really?! Lets investigate companies like KBR and Halliburton who are getting millions of fucking dollars and equipment while the troops are still being fucking shafted.

Back In Action.

I just got back from the latest adventure for the documentary. We started out in Albany...shot for a few days. My mom, friends, and strangers were all involved. It was hilarious, entertaining, and tiring. From there we went to my unit...I had drill so why not film there. We weren't doing anything exciting...AT recovery. However, we were able to film all the females there (about 6?) working. The next day was "mandatory fun day" aka a family bbq that you had to go to for a few hours. We ate, interviewed a couple people...it was a good day. We actually got my commander on camera talking about women in combat. Then it was off to Washington. Stayed with LeEllen again...she's awesome. First day in Washington was 12hrs at the Pentagon. If you go there and you're a female...don't wear heels. I learned that lesson quick and by the end of the day I was walking barefoot. Classy. Anyways, I interviewed five Navy women...so intelligent, great personalities and just really strong. Some were on the Joint Staff, another was a fighter pilot (missions in Iraq and Afghanistan), and a Rear Admiral. They almost convinced me to join the Navy. Next day, was the Women’s Memorial at Arlington. Filmed there for a while and did two interviews. One is a retired LTC and the other a Sergeant who served in Iraq. Both were so great...the best part of all of this so far is speaking with different generations. The LTC was the first women to hold some of the jobs she had...and then the Sergeant, served in Iraq, did 200 combat missions...it is crazy how far women have come in so little time. So the next day we were off to Michigan. Michigan...not that exciting. We get there set-up, shower and get ready to interview Elaine Donnelly and Kingsley Browne. I don't know how much in detail I want to talk about these two interviews. Lets just say Elaine Donnelly...was a learning experience. A whole lot of talk about why women shouldn't be in combat, etc etc etc. Kingsley Browne...hmmm. Extremely bright. I'm still trying to figure out why he thinks he has a right to speak about women in the military though. Off camera, Browne and I were talking...I asked him, how do you draw the line in regards to women in combat? Where does combat start and where does combat end? Basically what jobs should women hold. He told me that women should not hold jobs where they could have to defend themselves, or be potential POWs...he said one more thing but I'm drawing a blank. So I looked at him and asked, "so I shouldn't have had the job I had then?" He said, I assume you were out in Iraq? I said yes and he told me, no I shouldn't of had that job. I didn't know how to respond. So I didn't. That was the end of our conversation. Next day, the drive back to Albany. We went through Canada. Boarder security didn't like us...they made us go through immigration. Waste of my goddamn time. Finally we were allowed to proceed into Canada...Ontario. I had to pee, so we pulled off an exit. There is nothing around us…trees and a few houses. We did a U-turn and ran into an ostrich farm. What? We decided to stop at this random 50's diner. Walk in and to my right there’s a group of 10 old people having the last supper...half of them were stuck in wheelchairs and not saying a word to each other...just eating their fish 'n chips. Really bizarre. Then we spotted a little shop...that's attached to the diner. We walk in. I guess you could call it an Antique store. Nothing great. The owner talked to us for awhile. He's going to Vegas soon and is excited because he was guaranteed he wouldn't be able to hear construction from his room. Great. Anyways, we get back to New York. The next day, a few more interviews...my roommate from Iraq was one of them. I always love seeing her. She's trying to convince me to volunteer to go to Iraq with her. Crazy bitch. We finally got done, watched Generation Kill and then I passed out.


So now what?! Still working on getting a few more women...so that might happen soon. Within a couple weeks, hopefully I'll have a new trailer to put up. It should be 100 times better. This project is going so well...everyone seems to be so excited and passionate about it. I couldn't ask for more.

I take that back...I have a question. What would you name a documentary like this?
Email me.

Hope everyone is well.

Good Riddance

President Bush is stepping up! The world is coming to an end. He approved the execution of an Army PVT Ronald A. Gray. Gray was convicted of committing two murders, an attempted murder and three rapes. The victims included a civilian and two members of the Army. The crimes were committed in the late 1980s.

This makes me sick…

“The court-martial panel convicted Gray of:

_Raping and killing Army Pvt. Laura Lee Vickery-Clay of Fayetteville on Dec. 15, 1986. She was shot four times with a .22-caliber pistol that Gray confessed to stealing. She suffered blunt force trauma over much of her body.

_Raping and killing Kimberly Ann Ruggles, a civilian cab driver in Fayetteville. She was bound, gagged, stabbed repeatedly, and had bruises and lacerations on her face. Her body was found on the base.

_Raping, robbing and attempting to kill Army Pvt. Mary Ann Lang Nameth in her barracks at Fort Bragg on Jan. 3, 1987. She testified against Gray during the court-martial and identified him as her assailant. Gray raped her and stabbed her several times in the neck and side. Nameth suffered a laceration of the trachea and a collapsed or punctured lung.



Gray should be executed…absolutely a worthless human being.

Read the article here.

Nonsense.

More filming for the documentary is starting up on Thursday and going until August 10th. I can not wait. Army, Marines, Navy...maybe Air Force. Stops in Albany, DC (really excited about the women/stops in DC ), NYC, Michigan and California (at some point). It is all coming together nicely and has been a ton of work...been reading a lovely 186 page RAND report for the past couple of days. Hopefully, I'll be able to post photos/video of the whole process soon.

What else?

Getting tattooed in Boston tomorrow. Anyone from Boston read this thing?

My summer class ends on Wednesday! I can not believe it. I loved this class and met a few good people. My greatest accomplishment would have to be getting an A+ on a lead paragraph I wrote for a potential story.

I don't know...I'm excited/nervous for the next few weeks. Ahh!

Does the military have the right to control graphic images?

Freelance photographer, Zoriah Miller took photos of Marines KIA and posted them on his website. He has now been forbidden to work in Marine Corps in Iraq. "Maj. Gen. John Kelly, the Marine commander in Iraq, is now seeking to have Mr. Miller barred from all United States military facilities throughout the world."

Read the NY times article here.

Here’s the argument...

Technically publishing photos of dead Soldiers is not barred under the “embed” rules...however, out of respect for the fallen Soldiers and their families should these photos be published? Or is this just our government and our military attempting to control journalist? Censorship at its best? Does the public have a right to view such photos? Do we even want too? Would opponents of the war exploit images of fallen Soldiers? I personally do not want opponents of the war plastering images of dead Soldiers everywhere...doesn't sit well with me. On the other hand...I believe the public has become desensitized to the same tired video/photos of Soldiers in Iraq/Afghanistan. It is always Soldiers with weapons in hand, running up and down the street...that is it. It is useless imagery...says nothing...means nothing...effects no one. So I'm up in the air with this one. On one hand, I do not want dead Soldiers photos exploited by people for personal gains but I believe the public should really see the effects of war. What if you flipped on the news and saw something besides just a random number…some news reporter wouldn’t just be blurting out 11 Soldiers killed by an IED, photos would be attached. Dead Americans. Would it compel us to do something? Pay more attention? Would the war suddenly be reported more? Or would it have the opposite effect…would we cringe, feel sick to our stomachs, force the war further out of our minds…would we turn off our Tvs all at the same time…and neglect reality? Maybe we should start with something this administration has barred, photos of flag-draped coffins. 4,000 and counting.


*This posted is dedicated to Patrick. My professor emailed everyone in my class my blog address...and Patrick emailed me this afternoon and "half expected" to see a reaction to this NY times article. Here ya go Patrick.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell.

Congress is holding its first hearing in 15 years! on the don't ask, don't tell policy. What do you all think? It is appropriate to bar bisexuals, gays and lesbians from serving openly in the military? Can we afford to even do this anymore? If gays were finally allowed to serve openly in the military, do you think they would join?

I say this policy is outdated and needs to be abolished. I knew several women in basic training that were gay…a few males…served in Iraq with several gay Soldiers also. We were one big happy family…its 2008…get over it. This isn’t your grandfathers Army anymore.

Here is an article that appeared in Time magazine today.

Annual Training.

I've been at my unit for the past two weeks (I'm sitting here now blogging...I'm really surprised I can get on my blog via a military computer. I wasn't able to get access a few months ago), and working on getting things together for the documentary. Right now I'm searching for studies/articles regarding women in combat, women in military, women serving in Iraq and Afghanistan, sexual harassment and trauma, etc. I've come across a few studies and tons of articles. Figured I'd post a few of them...

* An article titled "Body Mass Index and Disordered Eating Behaviors Are Associated with Weight Dissatisfaction in Adolescent and Young Adult Female Military Recruits", appeared in Military Medicine; Feb2008, Vol. 173 Issue 2, p138-145, 8p.

Highlights: So the objective is..."To examine factors associated with weight dissatisfaction, a risk factor for eating disorders, among female Marine recruits. Methods: A diverse adolescent/young adult sample of 2,157 female recruits completed a questionnaire upon entering Marine Corps training. Weight dissatisfaction was the main variable of interest. Results: Body mass index (BMI), disordered eating history, and worry about meeting military "weight" were related highly to weight dissatisfaction. Women with BMIs near the upper limit of the Marine Corps weight standard (23.5 kg/m²) reported the highest rates of weight dissatisfaction. Those who reported vomiting, binging or pill use, or being worried about "making weight" were four and five times, respectively, more likely to report weight dissatisfaction. Conclusions: New female Marine recruits with higher BMIs, disordered eating histories, and worries about "making weight" are significantly more likely to be weight dissatisfied. Such findings may identify those at risk for developing eating disorders when exposed to strict military weight standards.

"Military weight standards have come under increasing scrutiny
as the general population in the United States becomes more overweight. A recent study showed that 43% of 17- to 20-year-old adolescent and young women in the general
population were over the maximum allowable weight to join the military."

I have the opposite problem. When I joined I was a healthy 17 year old...I'm 5'2" and at the time of joining weighed about 117lb. However, once I got into basic training my weight jumped. I got to probably around 130lb. Did I eat a lot? Not more then the other Soldiers...maybe I did like breakfast a little too much but I just packed on muscle. When I got home my weight dropped back down. Fast forward a few years later...deployed to Iraq and what do you know? Got back up around 130-132lb. And I didn't even eat breakfast! I lived on cheese sandwiches (not a lot of vegetarian options) and whatever else I could come up with. My arm muscles were big...my ass got huge...total nightmare. I remember I got his letter/rap song from some male Soldier who saw me "around base". He talked about my thighs and my ass in the letter (the letter was about four pages long and hand delivered to me on a Sunday morning). I was blown away. It was embarrassing...I was like; does he realize I'm a white girl? White girls don't necessarily embrace their thickness. Asshole. My roommate thought it was hilariously and then we decided we should remove our names from our door, so no one else could stroll up and express their unwanted feelings towards us. Anyways, came back home and my weight dropped quickly...112lb. I pass the Army weight standards.

Next...

* A commentary that appeared in Off Our Backs by Krista Donaldson titled, "Is It Time For G.I. Jane?"

Alright so now we have a "warrior, the peace activist, the mother, the team-playing American, the safely middle-class white girl, the justice fighter" feminist who really likes the movie G.I. Jane. But she just can't figure out what to make of women in combat. Donaldson is excited..."the thought of women charging into special operations and combat alongside males sounds like the equality we have been fighting for. With the United States warring in Iraq and Bush at the helm, the armed services are ripe for feminist progression. The question arises-is representation in war the kind of equality we want?" I guess it is safe to say I assumed feminist would support females in the military...be the ones to embrace our accomplishments stateside as well as in Iraq and Afghanistan. I would like to remind Donaldson and other feminist...you don't necessarily get to hand pick the type of progress you desire...right now, progress is being made…glass ceilings are being shattered…but it is taking place in a war zone and it is being handed to you whether you like it or not. However, I do realize feminist have the power to decide "how far" they really want to take this. I guess one has to dissect the situation females are in. Throw war aside for a minute...pull out the female Soldiers, look at what they're accomplishing and overcoming and then decide if it worthy enough for feminist support.
Then Donaldson says this… “What’s wrong with a draft?...The Iraq war is being fought by poor people, those living in rural places, and people whom, for whatever reason, the option of joining the military sounded good.”
For the record, I fully support a draft. Say what you want. If it gets people motivated to do something, to throw up their arms and say enough is enough…I think that is what we might need. Put a little fear in people…shake things up…feel uncomfortable.
However, I do not support what Donaldson said… fought by poor people? Living in rural places? Give me a break. This myth has been debunked by studies and the statement as a whole is completely ignorant.
Donaldson ends her commentary by stating… “If the world had more women in decision-making positions, international conflicts would be different. Until then, I am left asking a lot of questions, writing a lot of letters and cheering for G.I. Jane.”
Does “G.I. Jane” really want someone like this cheering for her? (I hope she doesn’t think all women in the military look like G.I. Jane, she might be disappointed to find out some of us have long hair, love handles, didn’t grow up on a farm, have some extra cash, and joined the military because we wanted to better ourselves and do something for our country.)

Next...(last one I promise)

*I found a study that appeared in the Journal of Women’s Health titled, “The Mental Health of U.S. Military Women in Combat Support Occupations.”

Brief rundown of the study:

“The proportion of women in the U.S. military is increasing, and they are being selected into jobs that are more combat related. However, the mental health effects of working in combat support occupations among military women have not been previously evaluated.”

The study followed active-duty enlisted Navy and Marine Corps women in combat and noncombat support positions for two years between January 1994 and August 2001. RESULTS? Women in combat support occupations were found to be significantly less likely to be hospitalized for a mental disorder than women in all other military occupations. Also older women were slightly more likely to have a mental health hospitalization compared with women in the youngest age category (19 years and younger). Interesting. During the 18-month period, 1.3% of women in combat support occupations were hospitalized for a mental health disorder, compared with 2.2% of women in noncombat support occupations. Some studies have indicated that women working in nontraditional, male-dominated occupations have “more effective coping methods and experience less strain” compared with women in traditional occupations. What does this study suggest? Women working in combat support occupations, in comparison with women in other military occupations, were not at a higher risk for mental health problems. Explanation? Women know what they are getting themselves into…for the most part. If a woman volunteers or is selected to enter a combat support occupation she is generally more mentally prepared for her task and physically fit.

It is about time I came across a study like this. There needs to be more!

Soldiers Are Shooting Pigs.

I get emails from VetVoice all the time (thanks guys!) and this one caught my attention..."Army had soldiers in the 25th Infantry Division shoot live pigs and then treat their injuries during a training exercise last week." Maj. Derrick Cheng, spokesman for the 25th Infantry Division said the training is "to teach Army personnel how to manage critically injured patients within the first few hours of their injury,"

WHAT?!

Say what you want...maybe some think this is a really great learning experience, realistic and high-speed. But there is no way in hell I would ever do this. I do not think this is justified and not to mention the toll it would take on the Soldiers mentally. (And please don't give me any shit..."Soldiers are suppose to be killers blah blah blah." If the pig isn't coming after them with an RPG or weapon, I'm sure shooting the animal would be difficult.) I would not inflict any pain on a human being or an animal if it wasn't in the name of self-defense. Anyone in the Army knows that we practice first aide on those beat-up dummies and throw a couple bandages on them and call it a day or stab one another with needles attempting to learn how to be a good combat life saver...maybe this is not totally efficient training but there has to be a medium!

Being a vegetarian for over five years and against animal testing, etc. I just find this to be absolutely absurd and tasteless. Poor pigs.

PETA has to be having a field day with this. I wonder is Pamela Anderson is going to wear anti-army shirts now.

Check out the post on VetVoice.

White-power groups have recruited 203 veterans...

"extremist leaders have historically favored recruiting active and former military personnel for their knowledge of firearms, explosives, and tactical skills and their access to weapons and intelligence in preparation for an anticipated war against the federal government, Jews, and people of color.”

Read the article.

Quick Fact.

In May 2008, Obama raised $21,889,522.

In May 2008, McCain raised $21,393,773.

Thank you Opensecrets.org.


UPDATE!

Obama raised $52 million in June, while McCain raised $22 million.

read.

Generation Kill?

Who watched it last night? I was stuck at work. How was it?

Two Soldiers Found and One Missing...and Other News.

The bodies of Army Sgt. Alex Jimenez and Pvt. Byron W. Fouty have been identified in Iraq. They were kidnapped during an ambush in May 2007.

Read the article here.

A female Soldier based at Ft.Bragg is missing. What is going on at Ft.Bragg?

Why do Soldiers re-enlist? The Baghdad Bureau: Iraq From the Inside, (This blog is produced in Baghdad by the Times staff) write of the 1,200 Soldiers who re-enlisted on July 4th and their reasons for doing so. My favorite is Bryna Morris.

Bored at work?

I am. I've been searching the internet for hours and reading "Co-Ed Combat" by Kingsley Browne. I came across a link on MSNBC..it's a free for all...what do you think about the war? It is titled, "Iraq: Five Years Later." It is so entertaining.
I'm only up to page ten (there are 938) but here are some highlights!

Here is the link if you're also bored.

-First, there is no war. Only congress can declare war after being asked to do so by the President of the United States. If I recall correctly, that has not been done to date. Second, there is no front in Iraq so where are the troops going and what is their objective. So it seems to me, its another Vietnam and we all know how that turned out. Congress didn't declare that a war either. I support all the troops there, but not there function. We invaded that country under a false premise. We have become the Japanese and this was not a good Pearl Harbor.

-I do agree, there really is no "war". Because in order to have war, you must be fighting someone. And who is it that our soldiers are fighting? And honestly, what really bugs me, is that the President himself can stand there and say that he will not let any of the troops come home until they "succeed". Its like telling a kindergartener that they can't go out to recess until they've finished their work. I mean, come on. That just sounds like a serious slap in the face to our troops. They've had NO GUIDANCE whatsoever in this so-called "war". Sadly, joining the military has now become a fear rather than an act of patriotism.

-Its funny really.... I really think Iraq was better off with Saddam in power.... We went to Iraq for oil and that alone and yet we can even get it... The Shitties, Muslims, and Kurds mined you all bitter rivals... are working together by coordinating roadside bomb attcks everyday... What everyone fails to realize once the US leaves a civil war will begin...... It in the forseeable future and it has to happen..... What bush did was outright wrong and I consider a Mass Murder by sending our troops into harms way to get killed over oil..... My cousin and a friend have served over in Iraq and I damn well know what is said on the t.v. is not what is really going on.... My nieghbor severed two tours in iraq and both times had a roadside bomb explode in his convoy.... He told me the soilders that are injured don't ask for help no.... They let them die on the street because there is nothing they can do..... Its pathetic how we let Bush into office twice.... We were on something that day... Barack Obama will get us out of this mess...

And if you vote for Mccain.... he wants to have troopsin Iraq for 100 hundred years..... We have our own dictator that we need to get out our county's lead..... God bless the troops and thank you for laying your lifes on the line....

-I'm enlisted in the United States Army as an Infantryman. I will be deployed soon to Iraq. I am scared, but I'm more than happy to serve my country with honor. In my mind I believe with drawling from Iraq would be foolish. It is a necessity we stay and fight for the win. The men and women fallen in combat have given so much. They have paid the ultimate sacrifice for every American. I believe many people have forgotten what happened on September the 11th, 2001. The children, women, men, families that ended with disaster. This is why we are at War. In the end I am ready to give my life in combat. All I ask is that you support us (the troops) with all your might. It really helps to see the country I fight and may die for, supports my brothers and I. The presidential elections coming are vital in winning the war in Iraq. We MUST not withdraw now! The enemy is standing by waiting for the democrats to win. The enemy knows if Hilary or Obama accomplishes victory they will have the upmost opportunity to re-establish their strength in Iraq and overtime have the power to launch attacks on United States soil. Just remember all the sacrifices the American people and soldiers have given, don't let it be for nothing. Thankyou for your time. :)

-This war was sold to this nation and the rest of the world by a lie. It started from people from the sr. bush administration the so called patriot who divided this nation with hate,race, and mostly class. It is not the rich kid that is dying it is the children of the innocent american who took the word of fear brain washed in to them by some greedy self centered bad execuse for human being. What would the forefathers' of this nation would say in there grave. A governor from Texas who stole the election and the so called congress who let him kill innocent people from here all the way to the middle east. They had a word for them It is called treson. The enemy we have is from inside and we call the our leaders.

-What do "The Surge" and "Operation Phoenix" in the Vietnam War have in common? The deaths of thousands of hard-core killer jihadists. Anyone with any sense knows that the Iraq War's hidden strategy is the luring of thousands of Jihadists into Iraq from all over the Middle East and elsewhere so that we can kill them there. This is fact, itself hidden by the non-release of jihadists killed, just as in the Vietnam War when when certain "targets" (usually Viet Cong and North Vietnamese leaders) were killed or assassinated. History will show that the Iraq War, seen as part of an overall anti-terrorist strategy, was not only worth it, it was one of the most intelligent (although secret) military and anti-terrorist strategies ever conceived. Bury your political agendas and emotions. Think rationally about it.

-As someone who is currently on his third deployment to Iraq and taking some precious time to read all of your thoughts. I am staggered by the utter disregard some of you are showing for the people of Iraq. As a nation we as Americans have a responsibility for our fellow man that goes beyond the spending of money. We are the wealthiest nation on the face of the earth, and no matter what reasons drove our leaders it is our responsibility to look beyond money and be willing to extend for All time the Freedom that we so readily take for granted. And by the way, if it comes down to it I will come back as long and as often as it takes to see that the efforts of my brothers and sisters who have fought and died do not go to waste. W.W.J.D


You are an american hero, and none of us posting on these boards who have not served in combat are your equal. I honor your service sir, and will continue to do everything I can to support your and yours in your noble efforts to ensure that the Iraqi people have a chance at a secular and peaceful nation.

We cannot quit now, we are beginning to get the upper hand on the jihadi's(our true enemies). Leaving now can only strengthen them, and unleash a horrendous genocide within that nation.

Simply put this is the most important issue in the most important election cycle in American History. I Respect and am inspired by many of the words of Barrack Obama. But on this one issue, this singular issue of our times, John Mccain is the only choice.

-You go ahead and keep wondering. My fellow troops and I will try our best to keep your *** safe. Maybe get some real-world experience in our jobs, to continue the strongest military presence the world has ever know. And just maybe help a country, once enemy, now ally, be able to get beyond a dictatorship that kills & tortures thousands every year. And while you are asking about Bush's private agenda, maybe you could see that it should have been an American Agenda 15 years ago to act.

-You are an American hero and WWJD? He would support our troops but hate the war, because war is the sinfulness of man

-We were already hated by the arab world before we set foot over there. We have gotten a bloodthirsty tyrant out of executive office of a country where his own countrymen hate and despise him. He took great joy in killing just for the heck of it with no regard or remorse whether it be outsiders or his own followers. I believe that this war, though we sacrifice like in every war, is worth the cause. I have several friends and family that are serving in this war. I to am fixing to deploy there myself and feel strongly for the motives for which I joined and am proud to serve. Though war is sad and we lose many great soldiers, that's life. But we can't quit fighting. If we didn't attack when we did, more attacks on us would be imminent. We had to counterattack in response to their cowardliness offense on us. And all these professors that sit in their comfortable little offices that don't know what on God's green earth they're talking about, but they think they do because they have their, PHD or some kind of degree from reading and studying a book and no hands on, real life experience, only the fiction or scenarios they read, they think that makes them an "expert" and they say, "We should never have gone over there. It was a bad call on our part. Blame Bush. It's all his fault. And it's every citizen that voted for him's fault. Bush should've stayed in the USA and let them bomb and kill our very friends and family that we love and care about. People that we've known our whole lives. It's Bush's fault. They wouldn't have come over here." Yes they did. 9/11. New York. Washington. Penn. Or did everybody forget that??????? Seems like everybody has forgotten about 9/11. About what our country went thru that terrible day. So yes, I VERY STRONGLY agree that this war is worth the cause. Instead of fighting amongst ourselves, we should all be on the same side. Because arguing about Bush and his administration and the downfalls of USA will not solve the problem.

-The war in Iraq has ended the economy and wellbeing of Americans...This has been by far the biggest error in the history of USA...An honorable country which this generation has not been touch by a break in the economy, we just heard from relatives about the depression...this is worse! People did not recognized an unprepared president for the task of first world leader...just a cowboy with a 91 IQ those are my specialty in the school system as ESE! Americans lets start making our homework when placing a ballot!Are we better off because of the war?...check the mortages, the banks conditions, the stock market, the respect for Americans in the world, and the prices at your gas pump! Do the math and decide!

-It is people like you that make me wonder why I would have ever worn the uniform of the United Sates. You want justification? Here is your justification. What did Adolf Hitler do to the United States when we entered into war against Germany? My history books said Japan attacked us. Hitler was nothing more than an insane mass murder, however the United States stepped up to stop him. Don't like that one lets go a little further back. The President was Lincoln and the United States wasn't so united then. That President actually declared war on our own country. Yes I understand there were other issues however one of the pinnacle issues was slavery. I could go on and on through out the history of our country there just isn't room here. America has always stood up to the world and said ENOUGH!!! I constantly hear people like yourself run down what was done. You can not be two faced and say that you support the troops and not what they are doing. To us it just seems like a bunch of political correctness gone awry. On the other hand it seems that posters on here would ask me and my brother and sisters in arms to just ignore how we have been treated since the Iraq war and go to Darfur. So I would like you to answer a question that I already know the answer to but would like your opinion. Why sir should I put on my uniform and defend you with my blood and yes even my life should I be asked too? I mean to follow your line of thought what have you done for me? Why should I risk my life for you. OK you are a taxpayer you know what so are all of us that serve so we are putting not only our taxes in this but we are the ones over there risking OUR LIVES. Perhaps some will take this into account when trying to judge from their living rooms.

-End this war for god sakes and let our men come home

-hey us airforce!...why don't you change your freaking blog name before you start ragging on our government? Did you not have to swear to an oath of enlistment before enlisting? An oath that said to uphold the US Constitution and all superior officers? Doesn't sound like you took it too seriously. You make me ashamed! I hope your not actually in the USAF. I hope your a clueless relative or separated. Have some freakin respect and at least change your blog name before you start expressing your anti-government opinions!

-Always take the fight to the enemy. If you don't like where we are vote in someone who you think will change it. Been there and I am in Afghanistan now. Did the Storm and the Hope as well. If you haven't served then maybe you should before you start making your mind up about anything. One last thing,...do not even think you can understand what it takes to run this country and the decisions that are made that steer us on our course. Yes you have a right to an opinion if you vote. At least make it an intelligent opinion

-everybody is asking were are the wmd's that we couldn't find. Well were is the oil that you ya'll speak of? Is bush hiding 100 million barrels' of oil in his backyard? Are we loading our aircraft carriers up with oil and sending it to the ranch or what? And what if it is about oil, the United States oil production has been decreasing since the 1970's. What are you going to do with out gas for your suv, your boat, or no propane to heat your home. No plastic, no rubber, we've all heard it before. War is inevitable, it's going to happen. when there's not enough to go around, country's are going to start hoarding, and human being are going to die. Plane and simple. I've been to Iraq 3 times. proud to serve for the one's that have before me, and even for you who believe we're all corrupted.

-They can come for my boys when the Bush girls finish basic training.

-Why is oil and gas the all evil? Hypocrites!! All hypocrites! Go live in a cave, and why don't you bring your family with you. Because they won't be able to go to their schools, or play their sports or sleep peacefully at night. No more schools, hospitals, forget travelling. Lets all go back to the ages when we were oil free. You know those carefree, peaceful, fun loving days of the Dark Ages! I'm sure looking forward to that. Civilizations make progress, thats what is supposed to happen. When civilizations start flying planes into buildings and using women and children as mobile bombs, and gassing Kurds, they are not making progress, they are destroying civilization. I'd rather be progressing than destroying and if it takes action to keep ours' and our friends' progressing (i.e. not blowing people up or committing genocide) then so be it! These things happened before Iraq and we need to take steps to keep it from happening as much as possible in the future. I'd love to see anyone of you opining your conspiracy theories about oil and Bush living in a cave somewhere. Me, I'd personnally like to stay civilized.

-You show me yours and I'll show you mine (figuratively). I used that line the first time I got into my wifes pants. I have good memorys of that line. It works. Tomorrow I will look up some un answered questions. I stiil have to catch up on nine more pages. (WHAT?! weird.)

-There are sure a lot of people who call themselves Americans criticizing everything that the President does.Even after propping up the stock market so that you can make some money. there is the question that you still have to ask yourselves.Would you rather see the war being fought here in the United States, or in Iraq?
If we withdraw our troops it will not stop the war it will just change places.
There have been numerous attempts to attack us again after 911 and there are so many who still are trying to kill americans anywhere that they can.The most recent suicide bombing was done by a woman.there were suicide bombings done by pre-teen aged boys and girls in europe and spain and an attempt in canada last november.
What is the definition of weapon of mass destruction? The poison gas that saddam used on 100,000+ in Iraq? the nuclear weapons, the suicide bombers?
You have the freedom to say what you want and the iraqi people did not under saddam's reign of terror. In flight 93 there were brave citizens who fought for their lives and saved another plane crash that was aimed at the White House.
Your criticism of the president is the same as saying that those brave people should have just sat there and died in a plane crash at the White House.
Wake up people we are at war. we did not start this war. Saddam did invade kuwait and kuwait asked the world for help and who came? The United States did.
This is not for oil. This is for our lives and our freedom.
If you are an american,they want you dead where ever you are. No price is too much!


**There is so much more! It really passes the time. Anything interesting going on?

a few news stories.

PFC Joseph Dwyer passed away June 28th. Don't recognize the name? You'll probably recognize the photo. He became one of the poster children for the, "U.S. effort to rebuild a troubled Iraq". Since returning home he battled PTSD and this eventually lead to his death. Read the article...seriously heart breaking.



Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki is kicking us out! This is the first time Maliki has proposed such an idea. Interesting. Where to next? Iran? more troops to Afghanistan?!? Only time will tell. Read it!


So what does Hollywood really want to create? With the help of the media and Hollywood, movies portrayed Nam vets as craaaaazy (what do all Iraq vets have? hello...PTSD! right?) anyways, the Army is stepping in! No more shitty movies? "Army Lt. Col. J. Todd Breasseale desk is piled high with scripts, each marked with his name and stamped "confidential." It's his job to help decide which movies should get Army help." read read read!

Words used to describe McCain and Obama. I found this interesting...
McCain: Moral/good and dishonest, 4 percent
Obama: Dishonest, 9 percent
Check out the poll.

silenced.

The popular blog Kaboom: A Soldier's War Journal by LT G, has been shut down by the Army. He has been ordered to stop blogging and to take down all his previous posts. Some of his posts could be considered "controversial" but that is the beauty of it all...it is real not like the bs the Army or the media feds to the public.

this is bullshit.

(his fiancée will keep his blog going. wonder what the Army will try to do about this?)

a few links:

VetVoice.

Kaboom: A Soldier's War Journal

you owe $2.55.

I go to UAlbany. I have not attended school for about a year and decided to take a summer class to get back in the grove of it all. Completely happy I decided to do this. My professor is awesome, all the students talk a lot...I'm totally enjoying it. So here is where the bullshit comes in. I collect veteran benefits...like the GI Bill (I won't be getting the GI Bill until fall) and Tuition Assistance. I also receive financial aid and I get more because I'm a veteran. I filled out all my paper work for Tuition Assistance. What class I signed up for, how many credit hours the class is, how much each credit hour costs, the school fees and I dropped it off at Student Services. TA agreed to pay for everything...the total is $592.00. Awesome! And I am also suppose to get financial aid...how much and when? I don't know. So this afternoon I get an email from a lady at Student Services telling me..."I received your paperwork today and unfortunately you can not have both awards." Okay. I keep on reading. "Since ACES is part of the federal government money I had to use that first." Okay. "Your remaining amount will be $2.55 since ACES only covered $592. Your Persian Gulf award is state funded and it would be a duplicative benefit. If you have any questions feel free to call."

What?

So right now I'm literally staring at my TA worksheet. "Total Cost: $592.00" "Paid by Army: $592.00." "Paid by Soldier: $0.00."

Okay, so they won't accept my TA? What the hell is ACES? My financial aid? Where the hell is the $2.55 coming from? And why do I have to pay $2.55, when the Army said they would cover everything?

This makes me laugh. This is the bullshit vets deal with while attempting to use what is promised to them.

Tomorrow I will make a phone call and figure out why I owe $2.55!!!!!!!!!!

And on top of this I got a $40 dollar parking ticket for not having a parking sticker on my car…fuck it, just add it to my $2.55.

name game.

Jessica Lynch or Shoshana Johnson?

do you recognize these names? which one? maybe both? why?

(don't cheat and google them!)

who would you want to barbecue with?

I want everyone to know, 52% of those polled would rather bbq with Obama than McCain. (McCain got 45% of the vote). I hope everyone can sleep better at night knowing this.

However, I would rather bbq with McCain. Think of all the war stories he has. Much more entertaining.


Heres the article.

wake up!

every morning i wake up and check my email. obviously this leads to me checking out the news. first on yahoo because i'm already there, then the drudge report, the huffington post, a few vet sites, cnn...honestly wherever the stories take me. so this morning i found an interesting little article...but before i post a link...

ask yourself where in the world in the Iraq and Afghanistan war? well apparently not screaming through your tv screens! surprised? probably not because you all probably watch the news...and unless your oblivious you have to realize there is hardly any coverage of the two on-going conflicts. why? are Americans so sick of it, that if CBS or ABC attempted to cover the wars more they would lose viewers? does it bore you? are you sick of hearing about the Soldiers who died? the IEDs? the car bombs? do you want to ignore it because you are so pissed that president bush lied about weapons of mass destruction that you feel you have a right not to care? does it make you sleep better at night when you're only fed bullshit news stories some producer picks out of a stack of papers? or maybe it isn't thrilling because you can't vote for your favorite person like on American idol (fyi: nearly 1 in 10 Americans have voted for someone on American idol...puke). everyday i wake up and if i didn't know any better, if were just some 20 year old with no cares in the world, i wouldn't even know our country was at war...two wars. the yellow ribbons are falling off cars, in fact my mom can't even find a new one...hers is white its been on her car for so long, those American flags that attach to car windows aren't waving anymore...i'm pretty sure the only people who still have those things are super old people who have problems finding their cars in parking lots. there is nothing anymore...there is no pride (i remember being at a bar and my friends starting chanting "USA USA", some girl starting booing...booing? are you kidding me? an image kept running through my mind. i went to a hospital in Iraq, two Soldiers were just flown in from a firefight. one was conscious and the other one wasn't. they were bloody, there was blood all over the floor. i stared at them. one stared back at me. i smiled. i didn't know what else to do. they wore the American flag on their shoulders. one of them could've died that day, i have no idea. but to hear some stupid bitch in a bar boo the USA and have no recognition for the sacrifices people her age were making blew my mind. i picked up a beer and threw it in her face. beer when everywhere and the can connected beautifully with her lip. made me feel a lot better), there is no support, there are no welcome home banners, there is no respect, there is only a growing number of Americans with headaches because they want out of Iraq. it always amazes me this mentality comes from those who have never severed overseas or have known anyone who has served. and then i look at them like they are the worse human beings in the world...maybe this isn't fair. but right now, i just can't help it. sometimes these wars are talked about like they are over. they aren't. so wake up.

here is the huffington post article i was referring to.

if you don't want to read it...read this: "Earlier this week, the New York Times clocked the CBS evening news's total coverage of Iraq in 2008 at a total of 51 minutes. That's slightly less than 2 minutes per week. ABC World News clocked in at 55 minutes so far, edging them just over 2 minutes per week."

send a care package...to Qatar?

my mom came home from work yesterday and rushed into my room..."Katie, my bosses son is stationed overseas and they need powdered drink mix. apparently someone lost their contract and they can't get gatorade anymore" of course, i responded with, "yeah sure mom...where is he?" she holds up this nicely printed "please help the soldiers stationed in the middle east" hand out and says Qatar. hahahaha. i almost pissed myself. she was confused by my reaction when i told her, "yeah fucking right, that kid is living better then me!" she thought i was being mean and cold hearted until i explained their conditions over there and reminded her i took my r&r there. everyone practically has their own SUV, they wear polo shirts to work, work like 12-4, sunbath on the weekends, probably hit up the mall and drink shitty beer, and cart around Soldiers taking their three or four day break from the real war in Iraq. AND this kid is in the Air Force. in fact, i might ask him to send me something or book me a vacation. care package to Qatar? yeah right. unless they start dodging mortar rounds, IEDS, car bombs, and carry around M16s...i'll send a care package to the Soldiers who actually need them in Iraq and Afghanistan.

now i'm going swimming.

Women Of The Military...TRAILER!

as previously posted I am working on documentary about women in the military. here is a trailer...please feel free to post it, link it on your blog or website. also if you'd like to be a part of this please contact me. we are looking for females from all branches with different opinions...you don't necessarily need to be a veteran. we plan to shoot more in August...around the New York, Washington DC area and possibly California. (if you're not from these areas but are interested, please email me...maybe we can work something out).


so say hello America, to the women next-door!

fair and balanced education?

so tonight was my first night of my journalism class...i'm taking Information Strategies for Journalists at UAlbany. i showed up half an hour early (at least thats what i thought) because i hate being late, ran into some nano-tech nerds that were cradling a robot...i always hate walking into a classroom full of people and being stared at. anyways, long story short...of course i got lost. the campus is huge and i don't know my way around yet. finally found my way to the building, some lady helped me and this other kid find the class...turns out it started at 6, not 630. i mumbled to myself that i was pissed i was late and the other lost guy said, "hey don't worry we still have 3 hours left of class." maybe he had a point. my professor was out of town, so my advisor was sitting in. we've become great friends...i'm at his office a lot and calling with questions all the time. (he's either excited i'm so into school or secretly hates me for calling him so much). so i get the syllabus. moment of truth. flip through it real fast. come back to the first page. week one: "read Rich Feynmann excerpt, The Meaning of it All; and Howard Zinn excerpts from A Power Governments Cannot Suppress; also read clipping from WashingtonPost.com, "Ex-Press Aide Writes That Bush Misled U.S. on Iraq..." 20 minutes into class, the first page...i already know what i'm getting myself into. and Howard Zinn? i read Zinn. i know how the story goes.
don't get my wrong, i have absolutely no problem with getting into these things because i can come at this from both sides...and i'm excited and i can't wait to cause a ruckus in class. the point is, the other students. who knows what they've experienced, read, etc...so is this going to be a fair and balanced education?

another topic: this professor really seems to be into blogs. week two: "should we care that traditional journalism dies? why? what are the advantages and disadvantages of the blogosphere over newspapers?" she also has a few blogs (www.mystorylives.blogspot.com) and has a Huffington Post page... www.huffingtonpost.com/claudia-ricci/
she also recommends...Salon and a shitty Albany newspaper and its boring blogs.


anyways...here is a little blurb about my professor from her Huffington Post page...
"Claudia Ricci, Ph.D., teaches Journalism, English and creative writing at the University at Albany, SUNY, through the University's Educational Opportunities Program. A former staff writer for The Wall Street Journal and a prize-winning reporter for the Chicago Sun-Times, Ricci published her first novel, Dreaming Maples in 2002 after it was nominated for a Pushcart Prize. (available on Amazon.com). Her short fiction has been published widely. She edits a community writing space at MyStoryLives.blogspot.com."

well i’m completely excited to learn! lets see how this class goes!

Women Of The Military.

say hello to ten intelligent, amazing, women who are serving or have served in the military or have dedicated their time to make female soldiers voices heard. some have went to Iraq, some have spent years traveling around the world, some have paved the way for other females...we have all given years of our life to be apart of something bigger than ourselves...now its your turn to pay attention.





**this is a work in progress...interested in being apart of it? please email me: arita8x8@yahoo.com
**also your comments and suggestions are welcomed.

i'll cook and you kill.

read this.


Co-Ed Combat on William F. Buckley’s Firing Line Team
3/3/2008 10:14:00 AM

-- by Elaine Donnelly

In March 1993 I was honored to be on a Firing Line debating team captained by William F. Buckley, Jr. Together with author David Horowitz and Marine Col. John Ripley, a distinguished veteran of Vietnam, we dueled for two hours against liberal Congresswoman Patricia Schroeder and three others. The issue in question was “Resolved: Women in the Military Should be Excluded from Combat.”

The program was taped before an audience at George Washington University, and the format was a challenge. Each person made an opening statement, followed by several rounds of questions to and from members of the opposing team. Buckley’s insightful opening statement described the reluctance of the military service academies to host the debate:

“Mr. Chairman, colleagues, benighted adversaries, ladies and gentlemen….the intimidating forces of modern feminism have got not only mere congressmen and senators wilting on the question before the house, they have intimidated the Pentagon, or at least recent rulers of the Pentagon. You should know, Mr. Chairman, that without intending anything less than high respect, indeed devotion, for the present audience, when it occurred to us that current political surrealism required that we ventilate the possibility of women doing combat duty, I thought it most natural that the case should be argued before the body of cadets in West Point. The proposal was made to the academy and the idea vetoed by a lady colonel on behalf of the Pentagon.

“We thereupon issued the identical invitation to the Naval Academy at Annapolis, which happily accepted the idea of acting as host for us, but then the Pentagon heard about it, moved in, vetoed. ‘Too controversial,’ we were told. A few days later, by chance "I happened on Secretary of Defense Dick Cheney at a social affair, and I told him that after all, war was also pretty controversial, and he whispered to me that he would see what he could do about getting the Air Force Academy for us. That turned out to be more than he could do, because he never got back to us, though I must put it on the record that an official of the Air Force Academy telephoned as recently as yesterday insisting that we could take our show to his academy and he would guarantee us safe passage. [laughter]

“Whether the colonel who called us has a career ahead of him, I do not know. [laughter] Most likely he is scheduled to retire tomorrow and was ready to go down in polemical flames. [laughter] We don't know, as I say, but reading the record of recent controversies touching on the wider question and learning of the fate of several senior naval officials who were accused of gentle revelry at the expense of Congresswoman Schroeder and were promptly shown the door to Devil's Island makes it plain that not only in the minds of the trendy opinion movers, the question posed tonight is already answered--yes, women may serve in combat duty--but that a correlative point has also been made, namely that anyone who disagrees with this position is backward, uncommitted to equal rights, something of a male chauvinist, a Tailhook type. And to the extent that he does not believe in gender equality, he or she is an undeveloped, metaphysical fetus. And of course, we all know what we do with unwelcome fetuses. [laughter]

In minutes, Buckley summarized a host of arguments similar to those documented by the 1992 Presidential Commission on the Assignment of Women in the Armed Forces—a fifteen-member congressionally-established panel on which Kate O’Beirne and I had served:

“There are several levels, Mr. Chairman, at which we examine the question. All three are, in my judgment, dispositive, but the last is the most dispositive of them all. The first point is utilitarian: Given that combat duty exacts the most that the human body can deliver, does it make sense to admit to combat duty a gender whose members are physically weaker than males?

“The second point is sociological: In combat conditions, is it realistic to suppose that traditional deferences to sexual identity and derivative customs relating to privacy can simply be ignored? Isn't it likelier that any such assumption is an invitation to distractions which in tight and anxious military situations could prove lethal?

“And finally, third, are we not, in suggesting that the male predisposition to protect the female should be ignored, sticking our meddling little fingers into the chemistry of biological relationships from which much that is concededly civilized issues? For instance, the call to protect the hearth, to honor the mother and care for the child, to shoulder that burden that corresponds with the incremental capacity of the male to carry greater physical burden, even as the woman bears so many burdens distinctive to her own sex? We plant our flag on a sound tradition, ladies and gentlemen, and warn our dogged adversaries that whatever sophistries they hurl up against it, that flag will continue, bruised but proud, to stand high over the madding crowd. [applause]

Col. John Ripley, in his opening statement, defined combat as a verb, not a noun: “The word itself, ‘to combat,’ suggests that you must take the fight to the enemy. You must in fact destroy the enemy...Combat is not simply being in a risk environment.” This definition remains key to an understanding of this ongoing debate, particularly when physical standards are gender-normed to treat “equal effort” as the same as “equal results.”

Ira Glasser, then-Executive Director of the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), questioned Buckley on the issue of physical strength. Seeing the debate as a matter of equal opportunity, Glasser admonished Buckley for wanting to ban the one Canadian woman out of 102 who successfully completed infantry training in 1989. (In that year Canada’s Human Rights Tribunal repealed all of women’s combat exemptions to advance equal opportunity, not military necessity.)

Buckley defended policies affecting whole classes of people. “I can find you a 13 year-old,” he said, “who is brighter than a lot of 18 year-olds. But she can’t vote.” Noting that the Constitution also specifies ages of eligibility to run for Congress and the presidency, he argued that sound categorical rules should not be repealed just because some individuals are denied. When Glasser tried to argue that issues of eligibility should be decided on individual qualifications, Buckley countered, “Shall we go in quest of the unrapeable woman?”

Buckley did not apologize for being a gentleman, saying: “I’m not at all ashamed of being a protective male.” A majority of presidential commissioners saw it the same way, realizing that deliberate exposure of women to combat violence in war would be tantamount to acceptance of violence against women in general. Commissioner O’Beirne framed the issue best, “Good men protect and defend women.” If more mothers taught their sons what it means to be a gentleman, cultural influences that encourage or condone violence against women would be less pervasive than they are today.

This edition of Firing Line, which people told me they remembered many years after it aired, was the last debate of its kind. Neither the House nor the Senate held hearings on the extensive findings and recommendations of the Presidential Commission.

Women have been serving courageously in major deployments since 9/11, but under conditions of risk far more difficult than their predecessors in the first Persian Gulf War. Many of the predictable problems highlighted in the Firing Line debate still remain. These include the reluctance of Congress and military officials to discuss and evaluate the consequences of unprecedented social change in the military, objectively, and from more than one point of view.

It was a privilege to participate in this co-ed combat of ideas. William F. Buckley, Jr. was a consummate gentleman who advocated respect for all women, and showed it by taking this issue seriously as a matter of culture as well as national defense.


thoughts?!

first look.

tonight i got my first look at video from all the interviews. the contrast of all the women is amazing and pretty interesting. i wish i could post a little something on here but i'm not allowed right now. maybe something a little further down the road.

i have received a few emails from other female vets interested in being apart of this which is great. keep them coming! arita8x8@yahoo.com

afghanistan...in the news?

i was at work and saw a map of afghanistan on the news! holy shit! of course, it was in regards to U.S. airstrike that killed Pakistani forces. the best part was, the news guy, showing a map of afghanistan inside a map of texas! and saying something to the affect of...afghanistan is small, its smaller than texas and its located here...AND showed little American flags all around the country where U.S. troops are...AND reminded America exactly why we invaded Afghanistan, September 11th. HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT. to be honest, i'm completely excited afghanistan was the news...i'm pretty sure 85% of Americans have forgotten we are still there. however, i feel bad for the Pakistani forces who were killed and thats what it took to get "the other war" on tv. on that note pakistan...hand over Osama...jesus christ.

so classic.

bye chrysler building.

rupert everett...

talked out of his fucking ass during an interview and said some insane things regarding soldiers. "...They are always whining about the dangers of being killed. Oh my God, they are such wimps now!"
heres my question, why the hell does anyone...especially anyone in HOLLYWOOD, talk about things they've never experienced? this sorry excuse for a man is making corny movies like "my best friends wedding". give me a fucking break...everyday this guy gets make-up put on him, his toughest challenge is remembering a few lines, people fucking jerk him off telling him how great he is...and he has the audacity to talk about soldiers like this? fuck you rupert everett. i hope your 15-room mansion gets foreclosed on, you never work again, and go to Iraq to do some USO bs and you get hit with an RPG.

heres an article about it.

catching up.

"if you weren't doing what you're doing now, what would you want to do?"

"i'd be a wedding planner." (current occupation: teacher)

"i'd go to culinary school." (current occupation: teacher)

"i'd fly a black hawk and be a hired assassin." (current occupation: unknown)


*************************************************************************************

this weekend was my first drill back. mixed emotions. loved seeing some of my friends, meeting some new people and bullshitting. did a bunch of work. my commander pulled me into his office and made me explain "my project"..."well sir, its about women in the military, etc etc etc blah blah blah."..."hoit, i'll support you and allow filming at the unit if its done objectively, a balanced view, no miss leading questions, no propaganda." "thanks, sir...i'll keep you updated."

aka

thanks but no thanks.

i've been non-stop for over a week. working with someone, sharing ideas, getting really excited over things and bumping heads is exhilarating and excited and tiring. actually, has opened me up more. interviewed a bunch of girls in albany...everything was great. hilarious. crazy/perfect in their own way. friday night i was in harlem meeting with two army friends that i deployed with. of course they showed up late, did interviews, mostly hung out and told our war stories, watched one of the girls shake her ass, ate rice and beans, and promised to do it all again soon. we had to walk over piss to leave.
this project will continue for months and the "film maker" may be back in august sometime. hopefully, a little something will be cut soon and you all can see!...maybe bloppers? theres some really funny shit.

i know a kid, he was 21, a lot of my friends were friends with him. his passed away suddenly a few days ago. appreciate what you have. don't doubt it for a second. never look the other way for too long, it might not be there when you have time to get around to it. don't be so selfish. life doesn't care about your plan.

no rest for the wicked!

i just got back from DC. my two days in DC have been nothing short of amazing...from meeting with the producer, the interviews (all three women brought something completely different to the table, all are extremely intelligent and powerful...we interviewed Brig Gen Vaught, LeEllen and Kayla Williams), just talking with the women, who i've met, what i've seen, walking around DC by myself for a few hours and taking photos...it's been a lot to take in and i'm so grateful for the experience. i have a bunch of pictures that i'll post (however, i use film (yeah yeah) and i have to get it developed) and tomorrow theres more work to do...well theres going to be lots of work until saturday! i'm exhausted and need to shower.

read what LeEllen has to say about her experience here!


OBAMA VS MCCAIN?!?! Clinton VP?! ohhhhh, the drama!

rachel ray's wearing a hajji scarf!

so apparently rachel ray's getting shit for wearing a hajji scarf aka the traditional headdress worn by Arab men, in an ad for Dunkin Donuts. some fox news commentator named Michelle Malkin, has her panties in a bunch and is bitching about it. get over it! this fucking scarf is mass produced and selling at stores like Urban Outfitters and H&M...every fucking hipster wears this shit, with their tight jeans and shitty nikes. so michelle malkin, why don't you go to Brooklyn and tell the thousands of kids wearing this thing how inappropriate they are? rachel ray was trying to be hip...give her a break! and another thing...does this honestly even matter? why is this in the news? they'll probably have some bs panel sitting around a table, taking turns about how rachel ray is sending the wrong message or how shes just being cute...shut up! stop wasting Americas time! fuck fox news, michelle malkin and sean hannity!

"sisterhood"

the documentary is starting up! i'll be in DC for a few days...a lady who is going to be in the doc. is adopting me for two nights...shes so sweet and i'm looking forward to spending time with her. the producer will be flying in on Sunday night and the next morning its time to get down to business. first interview is with Brig Gen Vaught...never heard of her? she is the President of the Women's Memorial Foundation and runs the Women's Memorial at Arlington National Cemetery...AND "One of the most decorated military women in US history." so awesome! i know i'll be in tears at the cemetery. check the site. After that we are interviewing the lady i'll be staying with...LeEllen (retired AF, 23 years) and then heading to Northern VA to interview Kayla Williams...she wrote 'Love My Rifle More Than You". After that driving back to DC, staying the night and then heading up to Albany. the next several days will be filled with interviews and going to Ft.Drum. the producer is also coming to drill with me. my first drill back...should be interesting. after that, the producer leaves and will be interviewing Kirsten Holmstedt, who wrote 'Band of Sisters" and another female who was in the book. this is all coming together! get excited!


now im going to take a break and go check out a couple bands play.

your questions...

thanks to everyone that has sent me a few questions...they are interesting and i'll respond asap. i've been running around so much lately trying to figure out 543530 things but i appreciate you taking time to email me!

my favorite one so far...

"Do you self-medicate?" No. i don't even drink...but i think i should start.

heavy metal in baghdad?

offical site. check it out.

hmmm?

memorial day...

thank you to all the veterans!

i have to go get my dad soon and have a bbq with the family...wish me luck! or just come witness the madness. yesterday at 8am i woke up to my mom hammering an army flag into the ground, with curlers in her hair and yelling, "katie come help me! you're stronger than me! it suppose to be windy...make sure its in there good." wtf.

and to all the assholes who don't even really realize why they have the day off and are just getting wasted or shopping, fuck you. i hope your day is shitty.

xox

questions?

if you could ask a female veteran anything...what would it be? it can be simple, complex...ask.

email: arita8x8@yahoo.com


two days ago at work, some girl was talking about how she wanted to join the military (she wasn't sure what branch)...i told her i was in the Army...she looked at me and asked..."but you're not a soldier right? like you don't carry guns?"

WAR: My Informal Essay.

July 30th 1932...

A letter to Sigmund Freud from Albert Einstein...

"Dear Professor Freud,

Is there any way of delivering mankind from the menace of war?...that small but determined group, active in every nation, composed of individuals who...regard warfare, the manufacture and sale of arms, simply as an occasion to advance their personal interests and enlarge their personal authority. How is it possible for this small clique to bend the will of the majority, who stand to lose and suffer by a state of war to service their ambitions?...because man has within him a lust for hatred and destruction. Is it possible to control man's mental evolution so as to make him proof against the psychoses of hate and destructiveness?..."


What exactly is WAR?:

1. armed fighting between groups: an armed conflict between countries or groups that involves killing and destruction. (Encarta ® World English Dictionary)

2. a Just-War Theory: The principle of a just war states that war should only be waged as a last resort and after all nonviolent options have been exhausted. Just-war theory also holds that a war is just only if it is waged by a legitimate authority. no matter how honorable a cause, war waged by individuals or groups other than a society's legitimate authority is not considered just. Just wars can only be fought in self-defense or to redress a wrong. Wars fought with ulterior motives, for example, to redress a wrong but also to gain strategic land, are not just. A just war can be fought only when there can be some realistic expectation of success.
(Encyclopedia of Ethics, Terkel and Duval).

3. Nicholas Timasheff (Sociologist, who studied war): Three essential conditions of war. One; Antagonistic situation in which two or more states confront incompatible objectives. Two; Cultural tradition of war. A nation has fought wars in the past, the leaders of a group see war as an option for dealing with serious disputes. Three: "fuel" that heats the antagonistic situation to a boiling point, so that politicians cross the line from thinking about war to actually waging it. The seven such "fuels"...1) Revenge 2) Power 3) Prestige 4) Unity 5) Position 6) Ethnicity 7) Beliefs
(Essentials of Sociology: A Down-to-earth approach, Henslin).


War can be describe in many words but those who have experienced it often avoid attempting to fit it neatly into a well thought out sentence with comma and periods...sometimes there are no words to describe it. its just war. and its personal.

Why do we make war? Why do people volunteer to go to war? Why, as Einstein asks, does the majority bend at the knees for a "small clique"?

Is it human nature to want to destroy...to control everything you think you are entitled to...to dehumanize persons or a culture because it is not like our own? If it's not in our genes, the way of our world and our thoughts, depends on our environment. Its safe to say, we have a natural instinct to protect. We want to protect each other from what we consider evil, anything that will bring harm to our families, our lovers, our neighbors...does our "natural instinct" push us into war? "Instinct: An innate (unlearned), biological pattern of behavior that is assumed to be universal throughout a species (Psychology 7, Santrock)”. And can something so natural, be taken advantage of...feed with words, promises, lies, hypocrisy...to the point that the only feasible and natural way to secure protection for ourselves and our families, is through war? Human bodies pill up in the name of freedom...democracy, destroying terrorist, insurgents...defending our way of life. We have a right to defend ourselves...but when is it natural to go against nature and realize our natural instinct is being taken advantage of by "a small clique"...the elite?

The Elite...a relatively small dominant group within a large society, which enjoy a privileged status at the expense of individuals of lower social status. Who have easier access to capital and political power. Who have the power to make the decisions that shape our world and force millions of persons into situations they might not necessarily agree with. Situations, like war, have the ability to transform a human being...a nation.

Do human beings contain a gene for aggression? for hatred? for destruction? Does it take a single man to throw a match to the "fuel" and initiate the most organized form of aggression in existence? If aggression, hatred, and destruction are so deeply rooted in all of us, every human being should unite and carry the flame of war, there should be no questions...our guns should be loaded and our boots hitting the ground in sync. History suggests millions of humans have and will continue to volunteer their life for war. Why? From the hunters and gathers to industrial states, war has been present.

The majority of us were taught to be polite, to treat others how you want to be treated...raised with a sense of peacefulness and the ability to love. However, during war human beings will push these simple life lessons to the side but they are not forgotten. An alter-ego comes to life… hostile behavior comes full force, hatred for persons who harmed your peers, destruction becomes second nature, a lust for success burns within…its now our natural instinct to fight to the death, even if we believe the cause is not just, because if we don’t our lives are on the line.

The environment of war, is not exclusive to just males. Females are not only bearing arms but civilians…women and children are also caught in the crossfire and at times are giving their lives because they believe so strongly in the cause. Why is this such a shock to the masses? With all inherit our sex…we are born with it…the biological characteristics that distinguish males and females. However, our gender characteristics are social not biological. Gender consists of behaviors and attitudes a group considers proper and appropriate for males and females. Gender sorts us…by assumptions made by a group, males and females are destined to have different life experiences. Females are raised to nurture and be submissive…while males are viewed as aggressive and rigid. Anything outside of this mindset is consider taboo. Cultural norms are changing slowly…however, in a time of war, females will take on new roles and push the norms…it doesn’t mean their hearts don’t have the capacity to love and nurture…the predetermined gender roles, are just that…forced fed and out dated…and not satisfying to every female. If biology were the principal factor in female behavior, all the women of world would be sort of the same person…right now our society is realizing some females prefer the traditional gender roles and some prefer the not so traditional gender roles…they want to go to war.

“…Is it possible to control man's mental evolution so as to make him proof against the psychoses of hate and destructiveness?…”

No, because man's mind can be so easily manipulated.

someone from the Pentagon...

looks at my blog. just wanted to say hello, please don't get my blog shut down.